rukun

Dulu sebelum ada Dek Aik, drama rebutan adalah antara Ar dan Ir. Dek Aik menambah meriah acara rebutan.

Damai sekali melihat mereka, bertiga, bisa sejenak lupa untuk rebutan dan memilih menikmati apa yg ada, bersama. :D


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The Vacation

This is one of my favorite time. When all members of family come together...

It was a quite long weekend. A trip to Anyer was a quite long one too. But it is worth it. We always love beaches. We could spend all day long bathing and swimming.

Oh but off course we didn't. I mean, not that all day long. I mean, the kids did. I mean, we, adults has more to think than riding banana boat or surfing. I couldn't just let my mother take care of Dek Aik while I was having fun in the waves. Me and sisters had to make sure every other things are well prepared. Other than just get drawn and choked in the water. The cottage, the clothes, the food, the energy. Yes we have to save a lot to be able to enjoy the whole long week end, in fun.

(almost) all the members of big fam 

play with the waves 

temporary tattoo would be cool enough during the holiday. make sure it is gone by the time you have to go to school :)) 

It was fun. It was a huge happiness to have such a family time. With parents, siblings, kids, in laws...

We're looking forward for the next one!

Bukan Bahan Perbandingan

Pagi ini aku mengambil rapor di sekolah Ar Ir. Begitu aku duduk di hadapan Bu Guru, aku bertanya ' bagaimana hasil belajar anak-anak keren itu?'

Bu Guru memulai menjawab dengan kalimat, 'Hasil belajar Ar lebih bagus dari Ir...' Sambil mulai mencari-cari buku rapor mereka.

Aku, dengan spontan memotong kalimatnya, karena aku memang tidak ingin dia melanjutkannya.

'Saya mau tahu perkembangan masing-masing. Perbandingan hasil belajar masing-masing dengan hasil belajar mereka masing-masing di UTS lalu. Bukan perbandingan antara keduanya'

Bu Guru seperti terkejut mendengar aku berkata begitu, lalu mulai menjelaskan hasil belajar Ar dan Ir, tanpa mengaitkan satu dengan yang lainnya.

***

Aku tahu, bagi orang yang sekedar melihat tanpa memahami, otomatis akan terlintas untuk membandingkan sepasang anak kembar. Tak hanya tentang pelajaran sekolahnya, tapi mungkin juga tentang hal-hal lainnya.

Aku pun menyadari hal seperti itu akan alami tumbuh di benakku. Tak usahlah antara kedua kembar itu. Kita bahkan cenderung membandingkan satu anak dengan anak yang lain. Yang, sebisa mungkin aku hindari.

Pasti jadi 'penderitaan' tersendiri bagi manusia-manusia kembar, ketika orang memandang mereka tidak utuh sebagai pribadi terpisah, tapi saling membayangi. Ar Ir bahkan punya saat-saat mereka terlihat 'bosan' dengan orang-orang yang salah panggil.

Aku, entah ini dianggap baik atau buruk, selalu berusaha memperlakukan mereka sebagai dua orang yang berbeda. Aku tidak pernah membelikan mereka baju kembar, seperti yang umumnya dilakukan orang tua anak kembar. Mereka bahkan menolak memakai baju kembar, kecuali sekalian rame-rame kembaran dengan sepupu-sepupu. Makin besar, mereka malah kubiarlan memilih sendiri apa yang mereka suka.

***

Nilai yang terpaut lumayan jauh, dalam kelas yang sama, mau tak mau akan jadi bahan perbandingan langsung. Lihat saja, bahkan oleh gurunya. Aku tidak ingin orang-orang menjadikannya begitu. Tapi malas juga kalau harus bicara ke setiap orang untuk tidak begitu.

Jadi paling tidak aku sendiri bersikap tidak begitu. Agar keduanya melihat aku tidak membanding-bandingkan. Oh, gurunya. Iya, kalau padanya aku harus bicara. Karena aku selalu dihantui kisah seorang anak kembar yang gantung diri karena selalu dibandingkan dengan saudara kembarnya yang selalu ranking 1, sedang dia tidak pernah...

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cinta yang tak bisa ditukar

Andai tanpa kutahu, atau pun jika kutahu, bayiku tertukar di rumah sakit ketika aku melahirkan; aku akan tetap mencintai bayi mana pun yang ada di tanganku.

Karena bayi cuma berhak dicintai. Cuma dicintai...



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Just Because... Doesn't Mean...

Dengan riwayat keterlambatan tumbuh kembangnya, aku sering mengerem diri dalam memperlakukannya. Misalnya ketika dia mau minum susu dengan dot, aku membaringkan dia pelan-pelan seperti bayi empat bulan, padahal tubuhnyua cukup kuat untuk didudukkan saja dan biar dia berbaring sendiri.

Dengan keterlambatan bicaranya, aku sering takut dia tidak paham apa-apa yang aku katakan. Maka aku bicara pelan, dan sangat membatasi jumlah kata dalam kalimat.

Yang paling parah adalah, aku menganggap dia belum paham banyak hal. Iya, aku siap untuk kemungkinan terburuk dari keterlambatan tumbuh kembangnya.

***

Beberapa minggu yang lalu aku mengajak Dek Aik dan Ibit ke suatu acara. Pulangnya, aku sengaja pura-pura mau membuka pintu mobil yang bukan mobil kami. Dia langsung meronta, tidak mau masuk. Aku pura-pura salah sampai tiga kali, dan dia selalu meronta. Ketika aku mendekati mobil kami, dia turun dan langsung memegang handle pintu, ingin membukanya.

'Dia tahu, Mbak Ibit'
'Dek Aik lebih cerdas dari yang Ibu kira...'

I've underestimated him.
Sejak itu aku bicara padanya seperti kepada umumnya anak seumur dia.

***

Sore ini aku dan Dan mengajaknya makan di sebuah warung soto dekat rumah. Ketika sedang duduk menunggu pesanan, Dek Aik menarik tanganku mengajak jalan keluar. Aku ikuti maunya. Ke jalan, dan kemudian belok ke arah Indomaret. Iya, Dek Aik suka sekali masuk Indomaret. Tidak beli apa-apa. Hanya muter-muter melihat-lihat.

Dia mengenali jalan ini, dan tahu sekali arah yang harus diambil.

Kubilang, 'Bapak mosok ditinggal? Ayo kita ajak Bapak..'

Dia menurut berjalan balik ke warung. Pada saat itu pesanan sudah jadi.

Kubilang, 'Ibu makan dulu, nanti kita ke Indomaret. Adik duduk dulu, tunggu.'

Aku tarik satu kursi, dan dia naik sendiri, duduk sendiri. Menunggu.

Aku selesai makan dan mengambil gelas teh, mau minum. Dek Aik turun dari kursi, meraih tanganku dan mengajak pergi dari situ. Kubilang, 'Tunggu, Ibu minum dulu.' Dia terus menarik tanganku sambil protes (dengan kata-kata tak jelas).

Kurasa dia ingin bilang, 'tadi janjinya makan dulu lalu ke indomaret. Bukan makan lalu minum...'

I get it.
Just because he's not speaking (yet), doesn't mean he doesn't understands you speaking.
Just because he has a delayed development, doesn't mean he has a low intelligence.

***

It's like he's telling me: Mom, never underestimate your children.

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The Shelf

This shelf is for Ibit books. We just finished moving the books from the small and crowded one. She left me a little space there, the top left one.

These are some of her collections since the first days she read books, early elementary school. In the beginning I chose the books she read. But later she has her own taste in books such as teenlits an teen comics. Still I some times give her books I think she should read to enrich her word bank and improve composing sentences in writing.

She's now in book 6 out of seven Harry Potters books. Some where in a secret place I've prepared some collections of Agatha Christie's and Sydney Sheldon's, awaiting to be read. Hope she'll like them.

Well I... I... Ugh. Half of the books in that top left compartment are still wrapped. I guess I... Ugh... Have a lot to.. Ugh.. Excuse me.. I have to.. Argh.

the crown

I really have no clue what he's up to. Ir kept wearing this 'crown' or whatever he thinks it is in the house.

"is it indian hat or some thing?"
"no, it's just a toy"

he made it him self and I still can't figure out what it is made of. I mean that round part.
this morning he wore it while having breakfast and preparing for school. I thought he was gonna wear it to school but no. he put it off and rest it on the table.

Ir always has a special way of thinking. I usually find it out in the end. but this time I could not, yet.



===================================
this post is linked to Wordful Wednesday by Angie Lee

bermain bersama

I hate what gadgets do to kids. they used to play hide and seek. run and chase. futsal. cards.
but this is how they play (alone) together now.

Sahabat Roda

Tadi siang dia dan teman-teman satu blok bersepeda keliling perumahan, dan sengaja mengambil jalur off road. Sorenya masih lagi ke Taman Unyil.

Malam ini pengennya main rollerblade di Simpang Lima. Iya, setelah sempat dilarang dan bahkan dijaga oleh puluhan Polisi Pamong Praja, akhirnya dibolehkan lagi, untuk bermain sepatu roda di Simpang Lima. Tapi sepertinya, Ir benar-benar sudah kehabisan tenaga...

Jadi Ar dan Ibit muter berdua. Ir memilih tidur di pangkuan bapaknya.





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Hospital Love Story

Boleh dibilang keluarga kami akrab dengan rumah sakit, rawat inap, dan operasi. Semua anggota keluarga pernah dirawat inap. Semua anggota keluarga yang perempuan, pernah mengalami operasi. Bapak, bahkan sudah berkali-kali. Kami tidak pernah menganggap hal ini sebagai musibah. Ujian, cobaan, mungkin. Bapak dan Ibu selalu mengajarkan untuk kuat dan tetap rasional.

Tapi, tak peduli seberapa akrab kami dengan rumah sakit dan operasi, tetap saja ini bukan hal menyenangkan. Apalagi saat ini, Bapak yang harus dirawat (lagi). Seminggu yang lalu Bapak dirawat karena serangan jantung ringan. Dua hari di rumah, kini Bapak dirawat lagi karena sakit di kandung kemih dan prostatnya.

Melihat Bapak lemah itu benar-benar bikin patah hati. Segala sesuatu diladeni. Bahkan untuk duduk pun harus dibantu. Kemarin-kemarin Bapak masih bisa melucu. Kali ini benar-benar diam. Bicara hanya jika minta sesuatu.

Aku sering tidak tahan untuk tidak menangis. Tapi aku tidak ingin Bapak, atau Ibu, atau siapa pun, melihat. Jadi aku sering minggir sebentar. Atau menyibukkan diri dengan hal-hal tidak jelas di hand phone. Mungkin dikira aku ini apatis, tidak peduli. Atau brangkali mereka tahu kenapa, sebenarnya, aku bersikap begitu.

Paling berat adalah ketika memandikan Bapak. Bukan. Bukan memandikannya yang berat. Tapi menahan air mata supaya tidak jatuh di depan Bapak. Ketika selesai memandikan, aku bilang, 'sekarang saya mau gantian mandi.' So, I went to the bath room. Took a bath. And cried.

Sekarang Bapak sedang di ruang operasi. Ibu, adik dan kerabat menunggui di depan ruang operasi. Ngobrol. Tidur. Nonton tivi. I can't do either one. Jadi aku minggir ke sisi lain gedung yang agak sepi, menuliskan ini. Membiarkan satu dua orang yang lewat melirik perempuan 30an yang duduk sendirian, mengetik di gadgetnya sambil dleweran...

Sehat Bapak. Sehat. PLEASE!!

the reasons

you once found a reason to give up

one other time you had a reason to give in

but then you find reasons to hold on

life is never easy

and to me 13 never means unlucky

it's a happy anniversary

the class

Did they say 'next month'?
Dek Ai' has been in the queue for speech therapy since April, and the clinic owner said he might be able to start on May or early June. Turned out he had to wait a little longer. We finally started the therapy last week.

After one hour assesment, the therapist have made a program for Dek Ai'. He will have the class three times a week, 90 minutes each, with 60 minutes in the class for the speech and 30 minutes out for his motoric development.

Before getting into the speaking, he still has to learn to obey orders and concentrate to the subjects. So far he still cried quite often in the class, but enjoyed out class session which is more like playing with toys.

I like how the therapists begin and ends every session with prayers...
"Bismillahirrahmanirrahimm, Ya Allah, Dek Aik mau belajar, mudahkanlan, amin"
dan
"Ya Allah, Dek Aik sudah selesai belajar, amin"

He made it through the physiotherapy, and will pass this one too...

The Clowns

They are clowns. Really. And seems like they know how to do each others make up.

The Roller Blade Fever

We are having a fever in town: roller blade.
Every night, especially in weekends, Simpang Lima is full of people skating, or learning to. If you don't have roller blades you can simply rent them. Fifteen thousand rupiahs for an hour of a pair of roller blades.
Semarang sedang demam roller blade.
Setiap malam, khususnya di akhir pekan, Simpang Lima penuh dengan mereka yang meluncur, atau sedang belajar. Jika kamu belum punya roller blade sendiri, banyak yang menyewakan di situ. Lima belas ribu rupiah untuk sepasang roller blade selama satu jam.

Oh yes I tried, for five seconds, or less. I put them on my feet, then tried to stand up, then fell, then quit. Guess age talks.
Aku mencoba, lima detik, atau kurang. Aku pakai, lalu coba berdiri, lalu jatuh, lalu sudah. Sepertinya umur bicara.

Ibit needed several times to finally be able to roll. Ar Ir seemed to do it better. It looks like they'll soon be running in those little wheels. Yeah, may be, after few more tries.
Ibit harus mencoba berkali-kali sebelum akhirnya bisa meluncur. Ar Ir sepertinya melakukannya dengan lebih mudah. Sebentar lagi mereka akan balapan di atas roda-roda kecil itu. Ya, mungkin, setelah mencoba beberapa kali lagi..

Lebaran This Year...

...is pretty much like any other Lebarans last years.

Sholat Ied in the masjid. Shaking hand, forgiving each other. Visiting families here and there. Tired yet fun.

This year is a little less perfect, three siblings of mine spent the Lebaran holidays at their parents in law. Still it doesn't change the happiness of being together with parents and whoever we met.

Grannies that couldn't stop telling to (or not to) do this and that. Mouths that couldn't stop chewing. Little feet that couldn't stop running here and there. Kids yelling. Error stomachs. But those are all the things we miss to do annually, every Idul Fitri.

Happy Eid Mubarak.

***

this post is linked to Wordful Wednesday, hosted by Angie

the present to myself

you who haven't experience this, may find it hard to understand or even imagine what babies mean to a mother. they're everything. I mean everything. if you lost them you have nothing.

they're the one who make you stand through all storms and thunders, burning sun and heavy rain.

they make you strong to bear every pain

they make you tough you can wipe (or hide) your tears

they make you the best actress in the world

they keep your sanity stands when the whole world goes crazy

I'm not talking about you pretending to love them. 'coz no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how you deny; you love them.

you'll give everything you have, and more

you want to always make them believe you're okay

you never know what pain they'll suffer if the found out you're not 

so never mind thinking about a birthday present.

their presence has always been the best present, and hope it will always be.

happy birthday to me.

The Real Teen

Not just because her age, for the second year, is in two digits number. But also because she's now a high school student.

She's grown with mature thought and responsibility. I've always been more as her friend than her mother. I hope we'll always be best friends forever.

No birthday cake. No party. No celebration.

Only hugs and prayers. Oh, and birthday present off course. Later. She's still thinking about what she wants.

Happy Birthday, dear.






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Tentang Ekstra Kurikuler di Sekolah Baru.

Ini minggu kedua Mbak Ibit bersekolah sebagai anak SMP. Hampir setiap hari, dengan panuh semangat dia bercerita tentang hal-hal baru di sekolah. Tentang teman-teman yang lucu, guru yang menyenangkan dan yang membosankan. Perpustakaan yang asik tapi lampunya kurang terang...

Pagi ini di perjalanan ke sekolah, Mbak Ibit mengatakan bahwa dia sedang bingung untuk menentukan ikut ekstra kurikuler apa. Dia mendapat undangan untuk ikut kelompok persiapan Olimpiade IPA, karena nilai IPA-nya waktu Ujian Nasional kemarin termasuk tinggi.

Kubilang, terserah Mbak Ibit. Tapi kalau aku, ekskul adalah kegiatan senang-senang, refreshing setelah pusing oleh pelajaran.

'Kata Bu Guru,' kata Mbak Ibit, ekskul jangan cuma yang senang-senang aja. Nah loh, ideologinya kebalikan. Tapi sebenarnya Mbak Ibit maunya ikut menyanyi dan jurnalistik. Yang nanti terpilih ikut olimpiade paling banyak 4 orang. Kalau nggak kepilih rasanya sia-sia. Beda kalau menyanyi dan jurnalistik. Biarpun tidak mewakili lomba, setidaknya sudah bersenang-senang selama kegiatan.

Fiuh. Diam-diam aku lega. Dan kataku, ada anak yang memang cocok ambil ekstra olimpiade. Yaitu anak-anak yang kebahagiannya adalah belajar dan belajar. Mbak Ibit tertawa, dan katanya dia bukan yang seperti itu.

'Lagian aku juga nggak terlalu suka IPA'
'Nilai IPA tinggi karena kebetulan'
'Haha, iya. Aku cuma nebak-nebak, dan ternyata benar...'

Ha ha ha.
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nastar

I don't know why the desire to make cookies only comes  when it is about Idul Fitri. Or why these cookies like nastar, cheese castengels, snow white, and friends, become so popular around the time.

Kids has asked me to make some nastar since the first day Ramadhan. I said no need to hurry, Lebaran is a month away. But they said it's not for lebaran, but for now.

So yesterday, with their help I finally did one recipe. And I am still blushy to remember what they had to say...

Ar: Ibu, the nastar is sooooo... yummy
Ibit: this is too yummy I can't stop eating it
Ir: is it okay to make nastar in months other than Ramadhan? why do we only make it in ramadhan? can we make it again after lebaran?

Ouwh. Yeah. Let's make some, any other time...

The Full Fasting.

This is day five we do fasting. I know it is hard for the kids to wake up and have early meal at three. There those men fall asleep after finish their meals have sleeping.

And for Ar and Ir, this is the first year they do a full fasting, from shubuh to maghrib. About 14 hours. It is dry season now, and days are pretty hot. With the daily activities they keep doing, it's wonderful how they can pass it well.

I hope they'll keep the spirit to the end of the fight.

Ramadhan kareem. Have a great fasting month, everyone.

initial

this should stop them from fighting 'these are my socks'

potong rambut dan panjang umur

entah kenapa, orang yang datang ketika kita baru saja membicarakannya, dikatakan panjang umur. yah, paling tidak sampai saat itu dia masih hidup. begitu mungkin ya?

kemarin aku dan Dan mengantar anak-anak untuk liburan di rumah Mbah Buyutnya. tertunda seminggu karena acara sunat menyunat minggu lalu. iya, jadi Ar Ir harus istirahat dulu menunggu luka bekas sunatnya sembuh. soalnya kalau liburan di rumah Embah itu dijamin anak-anak ga bakalan bisa diam. ga kebayang kalau mereka keliling desa naik sepeda kebo, masih dalam keadaan pakai sarung sehabis sunat...

setelah nge-drop anak-anak di Mbah Buyut, aku menyempatkan mampir ke Ibu. dan begitu turun dari mobil, Bapak keluar sambil berseru... 'Alhamdulillah, panjang umur... Ibumu pengen dipotong rambutnya...'

cless... seketika itu pengen nangis karena terharu. Ibu pengen potong rambut, tapi ga mau dipotong oleh Bapak, padahal dulu Bapak tukang cukur. ga mau dipotong di salon. ga mau dipotong oleh adik-adikku (atau istri-istri mereka). maunya dipotong olehku. 

jadi setelah salim-salim dan meletakkan oleh-oleh, aku potong rambut ibu yang sudah hampir sepinggang itu, menjadi sebahu, dengan cara yang pernah diajarkan oleh Bapak. ga sampai lima menit, karena sebelumnya Ibu sudah menyisir rambutnya sampai licin. padahal aku ga bilang kalau mau datang, dan Ibu juga ga tahu kalau aku mau datang. it felt sooooo great!

hm... mungkin terdengar lebay menganggap hal seperti ini istimewa. tapi setiap orang punya cerita di balik cerita.

***

pengen sih, gantian minta dipotong oleh Ibu. tapi sepertinya itu sulit diwujudkan... :D

khitan boys (the circumcised)

For syar'i and/or medical reasons, khitan (circumcision) is a must for (moslem) men.  In our society, it is usually done when boys are around 11 years old.

Untuk alasan syar'1 dan/atau medis, khitan adalah sebuah keharusan untuk seorang laki-laki (muslim). Di lingkungan kami, khitan biasanya dilakukan ketika anak berusia sekitar 11 tahun.

Ar and Ir are 9 but they've asked to have it. We needed to make sure they were ready for this. I mean, it's kinda freaky to know that a part of your penis will be cut a little. But they convinced us they were ready. This has persuaded their cousins Muyas and Azam to have khitan too. 

Ar dan Ir baru 9 tahun, tapi mereka sudah minta. Kami harus berulang kali memastikan bahwa mereka benar-benar siap. Maksudku, agak ngeri kan ya, membayangkan nanti penismu diiris sedikit... Tapi mereka meyakinkan kami, bahwa mereka siap. Ini membuat sepupu mereka Muyas dan Azam, jadi berani dan minta dikhitan juga.

So we gave them what they wanted. Yesterday afternoon the khitan was done by my brother in law, Muyas's father. It was great, like we had a massal khitan. No party nor celebration, but it was merry enough to have grandparents and uncles and aunties and cousins come together to give supports to the brave boys.

Jadi kami ikuti kemauan mereka. Kemarin sore mereka dikhitan oleh kakak iparku yang juga ayah Muyas. Seru, seperti khitanan massal. Tidak ada pesta atau perayaan, tapi cukup meriah dengan embah-embah dan om tante dan sepupu-sepupu berkumpul memberi semangat pada anak-anak pemberani ini.

So glad that the boys didn't cry during the surgery. Brave boys. At night when the anesthesia slowly stopped working, they started feeling the hurt and pain, and cried. But it wasn't too long. I was ready for a long sleepless night, where I might need to fan the hurt penis all night and keep talking to calm down its owner. But it wasn't necessary. They slept tight and so did I.

Tidak ada yang menangis selama operasi. Hanya malamnya, ketika obat bius mulai berhenti bekerja, rasa sakit mulai terasa, mereka mulai menangis. Untungnya tidak lama. Aku sudah siap bakal melek semalaman, mengipasi penis yang kesakitan, sambil terus bicara menenangkan si empunya. Ternyata tidak perlu. Mereka tidur pulas, dan aku juga.

This morning I bathed- well, wiped- them- with wet clothes, and they said it doesn't hurt any more. 

Pagi ini aku memandikan, eh, menyibin mereka, dan katanya sudah tidak sakit lagi.

So one worry has over, one more step of being a parent is passed. Congratulations, big boys!

Jadi sebuah kekhawatiran berlalu, satu tahap jadi orang tua terlewati. Selamat, big boys!

The Graduated

Okay. She's now officially graduated from elementary school, and ready for High School.

 There she is in her graduation day, wearing her graduation gown with kebaya inside. She's the only girl with simple black headdress, while almost all the girls had white headdress with vary accessories and styles. But I think she is beautiful just the way she is.

High School will definitely be different. But I know she'll make it, like she always did.

The Hemorrhagic Conjunctivitis (or something like that)

This should be a common viral eye disease. But when it happens to a 2 years old baby, things become a little more complicated.

It is hard to prevent Dek Aik's hand from rubbing his itchy eyes. Now as it is puffy and scratched inside the eyelid, and bleeding, the doctor said he needs to stay at hospital and have infusion to inject some medicine that should stop the bleeding.

It's gonna be a hard sleepless night. How do I make his eyes open, to rub the ointment every 8 hours, and put the eye drop every 3 hours? How do I make him stay still, so I can put some ice on his eye for 10 minutes every other hour to reduce the puffy eyelid?

No need to question.

***

Nothing hurts you worse than seeing your baby hurt.

The Trio

June 10th was a special day, when I and 9 other writer friends launched our book, an anthology of ten stories for children. This book is a media literacy project by LESPI and Tifa Foundation.

As I wrote a story in it, I also wrote a song based upon my story, with the same title 'Mumpung Tak Ada Ibu' (When Mom Was not at Home). It tells about a girl who secretly watched an adults program on tivi, while her mom was not home. In the end she regret it, for the ghost she watched on TV haunted her around, even into her dream.

The cool thing about this is, Ar and Ir asked me to join Ibit to sing the song and performed at the launch, just because they thought the song was cool. This is fun. I didn't think it was that cool. But my kids loved it. And they who usually refuse to perform, wanted to.

Here is their performance... :D

There was an error with the sound system but the show must go on, and there they go.

Oh and you can see Dek Ai' running here and there. He looked so excited watching his siblings performing :D

The Toy Car

Most baby boys love to play with toy cars, and baby girls love to play dolls.

With his delayed motoric development, playing things has come a little delayed too for Dek Ai'. I introduced him to piano. And ball. And blocks. And rings. And books. For months he was only interested in opening the pages of books without paying any attention to the contents. He likes to hit his fingers on the piano keys. It took times until he finally likes to play with ball and blocks. But not toy cars. I almost gave up.

I brought him several kinds of toy car. Bus. Truck. Sedan. Big. Small. Never attracted him, still. Last week I decided to give it one more try. I gave him this toy-bus-alike-train. He didn't response good at first. Then at least once a day I sit on the floor with him. Put our hands on the toy and push it forward and back ward several times - before he push my hand aside and leave.

One day I run the toy in front of him and it caught his attention.

Last night for the first time, he played with the toy car. I let him do, no interruptions at all. I didn't want to bother the joy he just found. He played with it for almost one hour.

This morning I put other toy cars he refused to play with, before. And he started to like them.

It's not about what toy to play. But I believe playing with toy cars is a part of the efforts to develop his motoric control.

***

Few months ago I was so jealous seeing a friends baby playing with toy car. Now it feels so good to see Dek Ai' doing the same.

He's late but he'll catch up I know.

the hitting sticks

Tiga minggu terakhir ini, setiap sabtu sore ada keriuhan baru di rumah. Ar Ir Ibit dan anak-anak di blok berkumpul dan berlatih bermain perkusi. Ada juga beberapa anak dari luar blok, yang kebetulan sering main bersama.

Ideku mengumpulkan mereka berawal dari hari-hari ketika aku sakit dan harus istirahat di rumah beberapa hari. Aku melihat anak-anak ini bermain sepakbola, petak umpet, kejar-kejaran. Kadang berkumpul di rumah salah satu dari mereka, merubung play station atau main game online di komputer.

Aku melihat energi berlimpah pada mereka. Dan alangkah asiknya jika energi mereka itu disalurkan untuk sesuatu yang terarah. Aku bukan mau bilang, aktivitas bermain yang selama ini mereka lakukan tidak ada gunanya. Tentu saja ada. Semua itu adalah olahraga alami buat anak-anak. Jadi aku tetap membiarkan mereka melakukannya, bahkan kadang aku ikut bergabung main petak umpet bersama mereka.

Orang tua anak-anak ini sepenuhnya mendukung kegiatan yang kuusulkan ini. Hanya saja, kemarin ada satu ibu yang menyarankan untuk tidak mengajak salah satu anak dari luar blok, yang menurut dia nakal dan tidak sopan.

Terus terang aku agak heran. Anak yang dibilang nakal dan tidak sopan ini, sejauh yang kulihat ya biasa saja. Bahkan setiap mau masuk ke rumahku dan mencari Ar Ir, selalu mengetuk pintu dan mengucap salam. Aku melihat sih, dia punya potensi berlaku negatif dan cenderung mendominasi. Mungkin karena dia yang paling tua di 'gerombolan' bermainnya.

Lalu kupikir, mungkin aku yang tertipu dengan sopan santunnya. Sambil lalu (dengan sungguh-sungguh) aku bertanya kepada sekitaran tentang tingkah laku anak ini. Aneh, hampir semua mengatakan hal yang sama. Anak ini nakal dan suka berbohong.

Entah ya. Antara percaya (karena banyak yang ngomong) dan tidak percaya (karena belum lihat sendiri). Kalaupun benar, mungkin ada sebab dia berperilaku begitu, entah apa. Yang jelas sebenarnya dia masih bisa diajak beraktivitas positif, dan harapanku, itu membuat lupa pada kebiasaan buruknya (seperti kata orang-orang).

Pagi ini anak-anak berkumpul. Main badminton. Nonton tivi. Jalan-jalan keliling blok. Sesekali dari mulut mereka keluar suara ketukan yang diajarkan guru perkusinya kemarin sore.

Biar deh apa prasangka orang atas anak-anak ini. Atau mungkin atas aku. Aku sendiri punya masa kecil yang penuh energi dan banyak mimpi. Taman bermainku adalah kebun, tanah lapang, hutan. Perangkat mainku adalah kayu, pepohonan, tanah, batu, pasir.

Jaman dan lingkungan mungkin sudah berbeda. Tapi setidaknya anak-anak ini punya energi dan gairah yang sama besarnya. Mereka bersemangat sekali belajar main perkusi. Selalu datang sebelum gurunya tiba. Dan terus bertanya kapan mereka akan tampil.

Ha. Aku sendiri masih bingung mereka mau kutampilkan kapan dan di mana. Nanti juga ketemu. Bukan soal sulit. Jadi kujawab aja, mereka akan segera tampil, kalau latihan mereka rajin dan selesai berlatih satu komposisi.

Aku juga tidak sabar ingin melihat mereka beraksi.

the second year

 

Happy Birthday Dek Ai'

Our love and prayers for you

the water bed

We gave him a neck ring and he slept.
So we gave this arm floater and he slept again.

Seems like the warm water has become too comfortable for him :|

The Ride

Yesterday we visited Dan's grandparents. We met Mbahkakung (grandfather) few kilometers before we got to the village. Ir chose to get out of the car and sat on Mbahkakung's bike.

How simple thing has become a precious one.

from the mind to the type writer

hoho... so this is what comes to my baby's mind when he wanted to try to write with a type writer..

Ibu, can I have some money to go online with internet?
no, ah you, all you want to do is online with internet
aaah... Ibu.... please...
no. think about your study!
well okay. I'll go study then
then hurry up!

what. a week!

this week Ar and Ir got their green Tae Kwon Do belts, and Ibit got her striped yellow one.

then finally our flash fiction anthologies were finally published! Ibit's ff in book #1 and mine in book #2. these books were written together by 80 bloggers over Indonesia...

and the fun thing was the Kartini Day, when Ar and Ir and Ibit decided to wear 'profession costumes' instead og traditional tribal costumes. Ar and Ir chose to be Indonesian Army Generals, while Ibit liked to wear my uniform and be a Governance Officer...

my little pianist

this was taken on 30 January 2011, 7 months old and he wasn't even able to sit.

this one was taken on 25 February 2011. 20 months old and by the time he's already been walking for about two months. I have no worries at all letting him sit on the chair alone. 

a wonderful progress of development, to me. and I am waiting for more to catch up.

Ganteng Only

Ini kamarnya Ar Ir. Mau tiap hari dirapiin, tiap hari pula diberantakin.

Ibit, Ar dan Ir mulai tidur di kamar sendiri sejak masuk TK. Rencananya nanti Dek Aik juga mulai pisah tidur dari Dan dan Aku kalau masuk TK. Masih belum terpikir mau dikamarkan di mana.

Yang jelas, Dek Aik mulai suka ngendon di kamar mas-masnya. Betah banget main di sana. Jungkir balik di kasur, ngacak2 lemari dan mainan... Mungkin nanti tiga cowok ini dijadikan satu kamar aja. Trus di pintu kamar dipasang tulisan: GANTENG ONLY

The Need

I knew it was too late when I realized that his development was delayed. But I'm glad I've consulted with the doctor and gave him the physiotherapy he needed. When he finally made his first steps on the age of 19 months, I don't want to think it was a miracle. It was his hard work.
Aku tahu, aku terlambat menyadari bahwa tumbuh kembangnya terlambat. Tapi aku senang aku sudah berkonsultasi ke doktor, dan membawanya ke klinik fisioterapi tumbuh kembang. Ketika akhirnya dia bisa berjalan di umur 19 bulan, aku tidak mau menganggapnya bukan mujizat. Itu hasil kerja kerasnya selama berbulan-bulan terapi.

Now that he's still not speaking, I know I have to do more, speech therapy.
Sekarang, karena dia belum bisa bicara, aku tahu masih ada yang harus dilakukan: terapi wicara.

***
Few weeks ago I heard a neighbor whispered to another one, saying that Dek Aik is an autism child. A whisper that was loud enough for any one around to hear. A whisper that was meant to be heard as a whisper. She said Dek Aik doesn't do eye contact and other bla bla bla. It didn't hurt me at all, really. I just didn't understand why this person had to speak behind me, and did not talk straight to me. Especially when I my self never felt so. Dek Aik looks at my eyes. He listens to me when I talk. If my baby was an autism, I would take and face it, then I would know what I should do. And it is better to find and act earlier.
Beberapa waktu yang lalu aku mendengar seorang tetangga berbisik kepada tetangga yang lain, mengatakan bahwa Dek Aik adalah anak autis. Bisikan yang lumayan keras. Bisikan yang sengaja ingin didengar oleh orang lain di sekitarnya. Katanya, Dek Aik tidak melakukan kontak mata, dan bla bla bla. Sumpah, aku sama sekali ngga sakit hati. Aku heran aja, kenapa dia harus ngomong di belakangku, dan bukan langsung bicara padaku saja. Apalagi aku tidak merasa mendapati apa yang dia katakan. Dek Aik masih melihat mataku, dan mendengar aku bicara. Kalau memang bayiku autis, ya aku akan terima keadaan itu. Jadi aku tahu harus bagaimana. Dan lebih baik menemukan dan bertindak lebih dini.

It wasn't that I was not aware. I mean, after the delayed development we found, I have looked closer to many possibilities. I followed carefully every time @justsilly tweets about autism. She has autism children and a lot to share about it. I also asked the physiotherapist about the possibility if Dek Aik was one. She works with many autism children too and I believe she knows better than I do.
Aku bukannya ngga peduli. Sejak keterlambatan tumbuh kembang yang terdeteksi ketika Dek Aik berumur 9 bulan itu, aku memperhatikan kemungkinan lain. Aku selalu mengikuti dengan seksama setiap kali @justsilly nge-twit soal autism. Dia punya anak autis, dan dengan demikian, banyak juga pengalaman yang bisa dibagi. Aku juga bertanya kepada fisioterapistnya tentang kemungkinan bahwa Dek Aik adalah anak autis. Bagaimana pun dia juga banyak bekerja dengan anak-anak autis, dan aku yakin dia tahu cukup banyak tentang ini. 

As long as my observation according to Silly's tweets, as just a mother with minimal knowledge about autism, I didn't find any signs Silly mentions. And so did the Physiotherapist. She said it was just a delayed speaking. And what I need to find was why, and do the right thing about it.
Sejauh yang kuperhatikan sebagai ibu awam, dicocok-cocokkan dengan twitnya Silly, aku tidak menemukan tanda-tanda anak autism yang disebutkan. Begitu juga fisioterapistnya Dek Aik. Katanya, Dek Aik memang terlambat bicara. Yang perlu diketahui adalah penyebabnya, sehingga bisa diberikan tindakan yang tepat.

In another time I talked to a friend who works with children with special needs, Prima. I told her what my neighbor  said about Dek Aik. She looked at Dek Aik and convinced me it wasn't autism. Then she suggested me to come to a clinic for children with special needs she once worked at.
Pada waktu yang lain aku berbincang dengan seorang teman yang banyak membantu anak-anak berkebutuhan khusus. Menurut pengamatannya, Dek Aik bukan autis. Lalu dia menyarankan aku untuk datang ke klinik untuk anak berkebutuhan khusus, tempat dulu dia pernah bekerja.

So I went to the clinic and let the therapist see Dek Aik.  And listen to what she said. My baby pays good attention. He has good eye contact. The delayed speaking was the following of the delayed motoric development. We are on the line to start the therapy next month. Mean while, it is a good idea to bring Dek Aik to a pre school, just to make him interact to more children of his age.
Aku membawa Dek Aik ke klinik itu. Ini kata terapistnya: Dek Aik mau memperhatikan, kontak matanya bagus. Keterlambatan bicaranya adalah lanjutan dari keterlambatan motoriknya. Terapi untuk Dek Aik dijadwalkan dimulai bulan depan. Sambil menunggu, akan bagus jika Dek Aik dimasukkan ke preschool, agar dia bisa lebih banyak berinteraksi dengan anak seusianya.

***

Well, may be Dek Aik didn't pay attention and didn't look to that neighbor of mine's eyes because he thought she doesn't deserve his attention and eye contact. And I don't need to listen to whatever she said, any more.
Well, mungkin Dek Aik tidak mau memperhatikan dan kontak mata dengan tetanggaku itu, karena merasa ngga perlu. Dan kurasa aku juga tidak perlu mendengarkan apa pun yang dikatakan orang itu lagi.

I always want to know what my baby needs, and try to give the best I can, though my best may not be good enough...
Aku selalu ingin tahu apa yang dibutuhkan bayiku, memberi yang terbaik yang aku bisa, meskipun mungkin belum cukup baik...

The Trike

He finally sat on his tricycle, after about a month he's been refusing to, and cried every time I tried to make him sit on it.
I still have to teach him to put his feet on the pedals while I push the trike here and there. Later he'll push it him self and ride around the block...

Balikpapan lagi!

Akhir pekan yang cukup panjang kemarin, kami menyempatkan mengunjungi Mbahnya- anak-anak di Balikpapan. Setelah 4 tahun yang lalu. Wuhu. Udah lama juga ya. Habisnya... lumayan berat juga kalau pergi ke sana berombongan. Berat di ongkos hehe.. Tapi demi mengunjungi Mbah, biar berat dibikin ringan. Yang penting Mbahnya senang, anak-anak apalagi. 

Last long week end we decided to visit Dan's parents in Balikpapan. After four years since our former visit. Quite long, huh? Well, going to Balikpapan is not that simple. Especially when it comes to cost :D

Seperti kunjungan sebelumnya, kami terbang dari Yogya. Sempat menginap semalam (setengah malam tepatnya) dan bertemu dengan keluarga sahabat blogger, om Warm. Berombongan kami menggiring anak-anak bermain di Kids Festival yang kebetulan sedang berlangsung di JEC. Ada banyak permainan. Ada mini zoo dari Kebun Binatang Gembira Loka.

Like our visit  before, we took a flight from Yogya. We stayed for half- a nite there, and met my blogger friend, om Warm, and his family. Together we brought the kids to Kids Festival at JEC. Many games you could play. And there was mini zoo by Gembira Loka Zoo.

becak mini

sepeda tandem

bapak-bapak kompak baby sitting :D

pengen foto bareng semuanya, tapi anak-anak berlarian ke sana kemari. ya udah bapak ibunya aja lah :D

Aku sempat khawatir Dek Aik akan rewel di dalam pesawat. Ternyata pada saat take off dan landing dia bisa tenang dengan membuka-buka buka inflight shop :D

I was worried that Dek Aik would cry in the flight. but he was just fine. He sat and calm during tha take off and landing, opening the in-flight shop book...

Kebetulan, tanggal 21 lalu Ar dan Ir berulang tahun. Secara sederhana Embah bikin selamatan. Nasi kuning plus lauk-pauk dimasak oleh Mbah Putri. Setelah dibacakan doa oleh Mbak Kakung, disantap bersama untuk sarapan :D

March 21st was Ar and Ir's birthday. Mbah Putri made Nasi Kuning for a little birthday celebration. After a prayer from Mbah Kakung, we had the nasi kuning for breakfast...

Yang paling bikin anak-anak semangat pergi ke Embahnya di Balikpapan adalah pantai. Ngga bisa enggak. 

The most exciting thing about going to Balikpapan is beach. And there is noway you can keep us away from it...

Hari kedua, pantai lagi. Kali ini bersama keluarga Budhe dan sepupu-sepupu. Rame. Piknik makan di pantai seru juga. Walaupun makanan dan minuman kena pasir sedikit sedikit, tetap nikmat :D

The second day, we went to Manggar Beach. This time we went together with Auntie and cousins. A little picnic is fun. 

Dua hari memang kurang. Harusnya seminggu gitu... Tapi lumayan lah, daripada tidak. Ya kan? Mudah-mudahan aja, lain kali ada kesempatan lagi berkunjung ke Balikpapan untuk waktu yang agak lama. Biar bisa puassss....!

Two days are definitely not enough. But that's better than nothing at all. Hopefully we will have another time, a longer time, to visit Mbah...