Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Twin Shoot di Undip

Dulu waktu tahu bahwa kehamilanku kembar, reaksi pertama malah stres, "Ya Allah, apa aku sanggup membesarkan anak kembar? Mau aku kasih makan apa?"
Yak benar, ternyata makannya ya seperti anak manusia biasa, haha.
Dan sekarang mereka sudah besar.
Dan dua-duanya diterima di Undip meskipun dengan jalur dan di jurusan yang berbeda. Kami tidak berharap banyak bisa diterima lewat jalur SNMPTN. Karenanya, mereka ambil bimbingan belajar untuk fokus masuk lewat jalur SBMPTN. Ar berhasil, Ir belum. Momen membuka pengumuman hasil SMBPTN itu mengacaukan batin. Di satu sisi kami gembira Ar lolos, tapi sedih Ir belum.
Aku menghargai Ar yang menunda sorak sorainya. Kami seisi rumah membiarkan Ir tenang dulu selama sehari dua hari. Lalu besoknya menyemangati lagi untuk ikut jalur mandiri. Daftar bimbingan belajar lagi. Melarang dia mengkhawatirkan biaya pendaftaran di sana sini. Itu bagian dari usaha, tidak akan menjadi mubadzir.
Mendaftar mandiri di tiga universitas, pengumuman berselang seminggu seminggu. Di Universitas Brawijaya belum lolos. UNS juga belum berhasil. Ir terlihat lelah dan khawatir. Aku berusaha menenangkan, barangkali memang jatahnya diterima di Undip.
"Aku pengin teriak histeris kaya Ar kemarin waktu lolos SMBPTN."

Dan terkabul.
Membiayai tiga anak yang kuliah bersamaan, dengan UKT serba tinggi karena ibuknya PNS, kalau dilihat sekilas pasti berat. Tapi kali ini aku nggak mau lagi meragukan diriku, apalagi kuasa Tuhan. Tidak ada yang ingin kupertanyakan. Aku memohon saja, "Ya Allah, paringi lancar segalanya."

Monday, May 3, 2021

the frequency

do you remember one thing we learned at school, that there are ranges of sound that we can not hear but some animals can? dogs hear low frequency sounds while bats hear the high.
do you believe that some gifted people can hear sounds in such ways?
one day we went to the wood then Aik stood still for a few seconds, "Mami, listen."
"listen to what?"
"sound of smoke."
how was I able to hear the sound of smoke? smoke is to be seen not to be heard. but he was listening to something, not looking at something.
do you remember one thing we learned at school, that two wave of sounds with the same frequency will resonant an provide larger amplitudo (or eliminate each other)?
I like to think about 'two things with the same frequency will resonant' is not only for sound. there many other frequencies: magnet, light, any other may be I don't know the name. it's like when two people are having the same 'frequency', they would click and easier to chat, communicate, even collaborate.
do you think animals and human can have the same kind of frequency?
I never thought this was special but now I do. 
later these days during Ramadhan, Aik likes to take some walk in the morning. not far, only about 2-3 kilometers, changing routes but still around neighborhood. along the walk he likes to listen to (yes he seems to try to put his ears larger on) sounds of animals. dogs, cats, roosters. 

some people may think dogs are aggressive. they are afraid to pass by a house that has barking dogs. but Aik loves to, then bark at the dogs while laughing happily. 
he knows houses where dogs live in. few tens of meters before we get there Aik would 'bark' then the dogs bark back. then when we get there the dogs are already there.

in some other days Aik just keeps walking, then some puppies follow him. 

this morning some cats did. 

one day a cat followed him for quite distance. Aik told him to stop following and go home. "stop, kucing, jangan jalan. hush hush. pulang." and the cat stopped following him.

mostly in the walks, he would greet any animals he meets. sometimes just walk by, "hello dogs, get in. jangan di jalan.'' some other times he stops and take some times to rub.

I'm not sure he is able to speak to animals like Doctor Dolittle or Solomon. it's just that vibe that invites animals to loving him. and I love that.

Thursday, April 15, 2021


Ramadhan is coming and we have to believe that Covid-19 is still around. Mosque are allowed to hold prayers with strict protocols but you know often people are who are being careless and ignorant. I  mean everywhere, in any possibly crowded places.
Public places (except schools) are open now anyway. With the protocol. We have started to go out with awareness. To malls, restos, tour destinations, with under control visitors. But we turn around and find other places when we see too much crowd.
We have visited our parents, met our siblings and went out together like we used to do in the past years in holidays. We have skipped a year though.
I know some people choose to keep staying at home until the pandemic is totally over. Shop everything online, limit doing anything outside. I appreciate every decision. Every tolerance. I see around people are much more aware nowadays. At least at some places that strict protocol is possible; there where we go. 

I think things will go as predicted, the virus will still be around until at least 2022. And until we can be sure things are safe, we will live in this pandemic habits.

It's been a whole year the kids learn at home. I partially work at home while Dan is still full at office.
Ibit just finished her hard internship in Surabaya (hard because it is in pandemic and the work is also hard). All her activities with college and The Faculty Choir has been done on the laptop and some times seems frustrating. Ar and Ir are in their last year of High School. The last few weeks has been so intense with study and course for test to enter University. I can sense their virtual graduation, but I hope that won't happen with Ibit's (insya allah) next year.

We shall past through this together.

Sunday, October 18, 2020

another gift from 2020

I've been going forward and backward to write about this. I'm still thrilled everytime I remember it. But maybe I can focus on the good thing.

It was Saturday night, two weeks ago. We were on our way home after having dinner. Only about 1 km away from our house, we were in queue to turn right across the road, into the street heading our home.
I sat beside Dan at the front seat. The kids were behind us. Suddenly we felt a hard bump.
"Allahu akbar!"
And another bump.
I was sleepy then. I woke up realizing stuffs from the dashboard drawer spilled on my lap.
"Ar Ir? Ibit? Aik? Mbak Siti? Everyone okay?"
I heard everyone replied. Only Aik didn't. He was sitting between Dan and I. No sound.

I told everyone to save wallets and phones and quickly get out. We had to help Aik because he could hardly move. I checked everyone was okay. I brought Aik and Ibit aside to a quite space. Ar and Ir helped Dan saving stuffs from the car.
We were hit by a truck from behind, and continued with another hit by a car from the opposite direction. We needed a tow truck to move both cars because the front axle were broken.We saw the truck stopped for a while then ran. But a brave man ran after it with his motor bike.
It was a chaotic situation. People, and tow trucks, and police. We called our neighbor to bring us back home while Dan take care of the car and negotiate with all that were involved.

I thought it was a miracle that we were all safe. Ir got some scratches. Ar got a deep one that needed to be sutured. A neighbor that was happening to be there rode him to the nearest hospital. The rest were only some bruises and pain we found the next day in the morning.

May be it looks okay that Aik was so quiet during and after the accident. But it actually terrified me. He usually gets tantrum every time a little thing is not okay. Spilled water, dropped spoon, would trigger his tantrum. I often need hours to calm him down. This time is so quiet. Too quiet.

We have planned to go for a picnic and ride a boat in Waduk Jatibarang on Sunday. I asked Aik if he still wanted to go. He did. At the spot he said he didn't want to ride the boat. I and Dan slowly led him to the dock and he finally got on the boat.

He was still quite until we got home that afternoon. Later in the evening, he sat on my lap and started crying, quietly but deep.
"The car is broken."
"Can we fix it?"
"Sure. Bapak has sent it to repair shop."
"What day it finish?"
"It needs long time. May be next month?"
He started to cry overflowing.

The next day he started to talk more. But needed few days to see him back to his normal condition.

Ar and Ir didn't look shocked but who knows what's happening inside?

Ibit told her friends to get down of her car if they refused to fasten seat belt.

That night and nights after, Dan couldn't sleep at all. I cried remembering what happened every time before bed. Not because our car was broken, but because we are all safe.

I guess that's all that matter now. We are all safe. God still protected us. 

Monday, September 21, 2020

medal is not the goal but it is a good motivation.

we the whole family applied to join a fun run that should've been held on 21 march but, as the pandemic came by, it was cancelled. the event organizer decided to delay until september but it seems that in this country the pandemic still won't be over until this year end. not pesimistic, just being realistic.

last month the event organizer announced that the fun run will be changed into virtual run that will be held early october this year. all participants can join by submitting individual run that is recorded to applications such as endomondo or else. that is fair enough although not as fun as real fun run. but who wants to get into crowd in times like this? oh the covidiots of course. but certainly not us.

so last week we took our running starter pack, that should be t-shirt, number, and backpack. we thought the medals would be given as participants submit their recorded run. but turned out the medals were there inside the starter pack.

the kids laughed at it. ar and ir glad that they don't have to run but still get the medals. ibit said, 'i don't deserve this' but too lazy to virtual run. i'm still preparing myself for my own run.

this, was Aik's first fun run. he was so excited receiving the starter pack and couldn't wait to run wearing the shirt and chest number. he always count days one by one everyday every time we scheduled something. that could be annoying sometimes haha. so to reduce the counting we decided that he would run on the closest upcoming weekend. 

we told him that he should run 2,5 km to get the medal and he did 2,8 km (4 laps at the field he ran plus walked around).

it doesn't matter if we don't submit it, he deserve it still. he happy, we proud.

now it's my turn so i deserve the medal we have received.

Monday, July 20, 2020


Sudah lebih dari tiga bulan sejak ditetapkan anjuran untuk tinggal di rumah dalam berbagai judul. Pembatasan Sosial Berskala Besar, Pembatasan Kegiatan Masyarakat, Jogo Tonggo, whatever. Yang jelas semua sebatas anjuran. Kecuali perjalanan antar kota dengan transportasi publik yang jadi agak ribet dengan berbagai ketentuan. Bisa diakali, tapi ya itu kan ribet juga.

Kenyataannya, masyarakat dan pemerintah sama-sama nggak betah berlama-lama diam di rumah. Dengan pembatasan dalam berbagai judul aja rasanya seperti omong kosong, sekarang setelah diumumkan 'new normal', orang merasa hidup sudah kembali seperti 'normal' sebelum pandemik. Tidak peduli betapa banyak penjelasan tentang syarat dan ketentuan yang berlaku dalam new normal, orang lebih terpaku pada pernyataan 'sudah boleh beraktivitas' dan mengabaikan persyaratan.

Mal-mal buka lagi. Bahkan tempat bermain anak. Tempat-tempat usaha, tempat-tempat keramaian yang sempat ditutup atau minimal dibatasi jam operasionalnya, buka lagi seperti biasa. Untung sekolah masih belum diperkenankan mengadakan aktivitas di sekolah. Dinas Pendidikan Kabupaten masih menetapkan kondisi belum aman sampai dua bulan ke depan, dan akan dikaji kembali sesuai perkembangan keadaan.

Di sekolah Aik, sudah banyak  yang mengeluhkan pembelajaran dengan sistem daring. Ya sih, mau tak mau orang tua jadi harus terlibat lebih banyak, setengah menggantikan peran guru dalam mendampingi anak belajar. Buatku, yang jauh sebelum pandemi sudah terbiasa 'mengulang' lagi (bahkan lebih keras) apa yang dipelajari Aik di sekolah dengan metode yang lebih mudah dipahami Aik, lebih mudah beradaptasi. Tapi rupanya, masih ada orang tua murid yang menyerahkan urusan belajar kepada sekolah. Bahkan kemarin di acara pertemuan wali murid ada yang mempertanyakan 'Kalau hanya belajar daring dengan materi-materi yang dibagikan di grup whatsapp, bagaimana dengan pembelajaran akhlak yang juga menjadi tujuan utama sekolah ini?'

Halo. Bukankah pendidikan akhlak anak mestinya menjadi tanggung jawab orang tua? Jika dalam keterbatasan keadaan saat ini, sekolah terpaksa dilakukan lewat zoom, grup whatsapp, dan tugas-tugas, maka anak ya berada di rumah sepenuhnya. Lantas orang tua mempertanyakan tanggung jawab sekolah dalam menerapkan pendidikan akhlak anak?

Ketika kusampaikan bahwa ketetapan Dinas pasti dilatarbelakangi pertimbangan yang komprehensif, respon yang muncul salah satunya (dan ada pendukungnya) adalah, 'Sekarang di mana-mana sudah ramai. Pasar buka, mal buka, masjid buka. Anak saya sudah main keluar karena kalau dikurung di dalam rumah jadi stres. Saya sama sekali tidak keberatan kalau mau belajar di sekolah lagi. Yang penting pakai masker, jaga jarak.'

I don't know. Jika keadaan seperti ini, semua orang menganggap tidak apa-apa beraktivitas seperti biasa yang penting pakai masker dan cuci tangan, jangan-jangan pandemik akan butuh waktu makin lama untuk berakhir. Karena pada kenyataannya, masker-masker berubah fungsi menjadi kalung. Orang masih berkerumun tanpa jarak. Lihat saja foto-foto yang bertebaran di media sosial. Meet up di kafe ga pakai masker. Untel-untelan sehabis senam. Berkerumun sehabis bersepeda dalam rombongan. Biasa aja katanya. 

Mau tidak mau, akhirnya kita yang harus menyesuaikan diri dengan keadaan ini. Tidak lagi hanya menjaga diri dari paparan virus, tapi juga dari orang-orang yang tidak peduli bahwa mereka mungkin menebar virus. Menghindari kerumunan. Mengetatkan masker, sesedikit mungkin menyentuh barang yang bukan milik kita, sering-sering cuci tangan, dan menjaga jarak dengan orang lain. Terutama yang tampak abai dengan protokol kewaspadaan.

Anak juga, akhirnya harus diajari kebiasaan baru. Bagaimana dia harus berperilaku di luar rumah. Aik sudah sejak beberapa waktu lalu aku ijinkan main keluar. Dengan catatan harus pakai masker. Tidak dekat-dekat dengan teman. Tidak pegang mainan teman. Tidak masuk rumah orang. 

Aku ajak ke supermarket, dengan melihat-lihat keadaan. Jika parkiran terlihat sepi, baru berani masuk. Di sini lebih ketat. Untung di supermarket banyak tulisan  'jaga jarak', jadi dia setiap saat 'diingatkan'. Yang  harus kita ingatkan lagi terus menerus adalah 'jangan sentuh apa pun.'

Ada pengalaman lucu suatu hari. Dia melihat ibu-ibu yang antri menimbang dan tidak jaga jarak. Aik dengan tanpa beban berseru, 'Jaga jarak satu meter!" Si ibu langsung mundur pelan. Di lain waktu, dia sampai tantrum karena mengingatkan seorang anak usia 3 tahunan yang menyentuh handrailing pembatas di kasir. "Don't touch anything! No! Jangan sentuh apa pun! Dilarang!" Si anak yang tentu saja belum begitu paham, justru makin kencang pegangan railing. Aik makin keras. Si anak jadi takut dan menangis. Aku sibuk menenangkan Aik dan minta maaf. Ortu si anak langsung menggendongnya menjauh. Huft.

Hey, kalian sudah nyoba ke mal di  masa pandemik ini? Aku mencoba datang ke tiga mal dan semuanya sepi. Jumlah pengunjungnya kurang dari setengah biasanya sebelum pandemik. Mungkin sepertiga. Seperti di tempat umum lain, selain cek temperatur tubuh, disediakan hand sanitizer di pintu masuk. Jangankan jaga jarak 1,5 meter, 10 meter juga bisa. Jadi aku memberanikan diri mengajak Aik. Sambil sebisa mungkin mengalihkan perhatiannya dari tempat bermain, karena aku belum berani membiarkan dia bermain di sana. Aik tidak terlalu suka hand sanitizer. Tapi dia suka cuci tangan. Aku suka pada tempat berbelanja yang menyediakan tempat cuci tangan dan sabun daripada sekedar sanitizer di pintu masuk. Aik tidak pakai disuruh, otomatis cuci tangan sendiri.

Dulu, kalau mau cuci tangan kita harus ke wastafel yang jadi satu dengan toilet. Sedangkan sekarang, sebisa mungkin kita tidak masuk ke toilet umum.

Ada perkembangan baru. Aik sekarang tidak takut hand dryer. Dia bahkan tanpa disuruh, langsung mengeringkan tangan di situ seusai cuci tangan. One more step ahead.

Sunday, July 5, 2020

sepeda-sepeda yang bangkit dari tidur panjang

virus baru yang sedang mewabah padahal Covid-19 belum juga mereda: bersepeda.
sepeda menjadi langka, kalaupun ada harganya berlipat ganda. seperti masker di awal pandemik corona. 
rupa-rupa berita kelakuan pesepeda di jalanan, di warung. apakah ini pelampiasan setelah berbulan di rumah aja? benarkah mereka yang mubal di atas sepeda ini sebelumnya patuh berada di rumah saja?
bersepeda katanya adalah salah satu bentuk olahraga yang relatif aman karena dilakukan di udara terbuka. yang bahaya, menurutku, kalau nggak patuh aturan lalu lintas. dan satu lagi, berangkat berombongan lalu saat jeda atau istirahat di akhir rute duduk-duduknya berkerumun dan tanpa masker.

kami beruntung bahwa satu dasawarsa sebelumnya kami pernah menggilai sepeda sampai, setiap orang punya satu. di akhir pekan kami bersepeda berlima walau bukan rute yang jauh-jauh dari rumah (waktu itu belum ada Aik). milik Ar dan Ir sudah dijual karena kondisinya sudah parah. jadi sekarang tinggal tiga, dan terpaksa kami bikin jadwal gantian.
maka ketika Dan membongkar sepeda-sepeda yang hampir 10 tahun terabaikan tersandar di garasi, ini kesepakatannya: tidak ikut rombongan lebih dari 10 orang, berangkat pagi sekali sebelum jalanan ramai, tidak berhenti di tempat-tempat yang ramai. jika terpaksa harus berhenti atau berjalan pelan di antara kerumunan, wajib pakai masker.
agak menakjubkan juga bahwa, untuk gowes pertama setelah bertahun-tahun kami langsung ambil rute sepanjang lebih dari 20 km pergi-pulang, lengkap dengan turunan dan tanjakan tajam. beberapa kali kami berhenti karena Dan butuh jeda. tapi selesai juga. 
minggu berikutnya  kami mencoba lagi rute yang hampir sama, dan rasanya lebih ringan. awalnya aku khawatir paha dan betis yang bakal remuk, tapi ternyata mereka baik-baik saja. efek hebat yang masih terasa selesai bersepeda adalah lapar dan lapar, ngantuk dan ngantuk.
besok coba rute lain, ah.