The Need

I knew it was too late when I realized that his development was delayed. But I'm glad I've consulted with the doctor and gave him the physiotherapy he needed. When he finally made his first steps on the age of 19 months, I don't want to think it was a miracle. It was his hard work.
Aku tahu, aku terlambat menyadari bahwa tumbuh kembangnya terlambat. Tapi aku senang aku sudah berkonsultasi ke doktor, dan membawanya ke klinik fisioterapi tumbuh kembang. Ketika akhirnya dia bisa berjalan di umur 19 bulan, aku tidak mau menganggapnya bukan mujizat. Itu hasil kerja kerasnya selama berbulan-bulan terapi.

Now that he's still not speaking, I know I have to do more, speech therapy.
Sekarang, karena dia belum bisa bicara, aku tahu masih ada yang harus dilakukan: terapi wicara.

***
Few weeks ago I heard a neighbor whispered to another one, saying that Dek Aik is an autism child. A whisper that was loud enough for any one around to hear. A whisper that was meant to be heard as a whisper. She said Dek Aik doesn't do eye contact and other bla bla bla. It didn't hurt me at all, really. I just didn't understand why this person had to speak behind me, and did not talk straight to me. Especially when I my self never felt so. Dek Aik looks at my eyes. He listens to me when I talk. If my baby was an autism, I would take and face it, then I would know what I should do. And it is better to find and act earlier.
Beberapa waktu yang lalu aku mendengar seorang tetangga berbisik kepada tetangga yang lain, mengatakan bahwa Dek Aik adalah anak autis. Bisikan yang lumayan keras. Bisikan yang sengaja ingin didengar oleh orang lain di sekitarnya. Katanya, Dek Aik tidak melakukan kontak mata, dan bla bla bla. Sumpah, aku sama sekali ngga sakit hati. Aku heran aja, kenapa dia harus ngomong di belakangku, dan bukan langsung bicara padaku saja. Apalagi aku tidak merasa mendapati apa yang dia katakan. Dek Aik masih melihat mataku, dan mendengar aku bicara. Kalau memang bayiku autis, ya aku akan terima keadaan itu. Jadi aku tahu harus bagaimana. Dan lebih baik menemukan dan bertindak lebih dini.

It wasn't that I was not aware. I mean, after the delayed development we found, I have looked closer to many possibilities. I followed carefully every time @justsilly tweets about autism. She has autism children and a lot to share about it. I also asked the physiotherapist about the possibility if Dek Aik was one. She works with many autism children too and I believe she knows better than I do.
Aku bukannya ngga peduli. Sejak keterlambatan tumbuh kembang yang terdeteksi ketika Dek Aik berumur 9 bulan itu, aku memperhatikan kemungkinan lain. Aku selalu mengikuti dengan seksama setiap kali @justsilly nge-twit soal autism. Dia punya anak autis, dan dengan demikian, banyak juga pengalaman yang bisa dibagi. Aku juga bertanya kepada fisioterapistnya tentang kemungkinan bahwa Dek Aik adalah anak autis. Bagaimana pun dia juga banyak bekerja dengan anak-anak autis, dan aku yakin dia tahu cukup banyak tentang ini. 

As long as my observation according to Silly's tweets, as just a mother with minimal knowledge about autism, I didn't find any signs Silly mentions. And so did the Physiotherapist. She said it was just a delayed speaking. And what I need to find was why, and do the right thing about it.
Sejauh yang kuperhatikan sebagai ibu awam, dicocok-cocokkan dengan twitnya Silly, aku tidak menemukan tanda-tanda anak autism yang disebutkan. Begitu juga fisioterapistnya Dek Aik. Katanya, Dek Aik memang terlambat bicara. Yang perlu diketahui adalah penyebabnya, sehingga bisa diberikan tindakan yang tepat.

In another time I talked to a friend who works with children with special needs, Prima. I told her what my neighbor  said about Dek Aik. She looked at Dek Aik and convinced me it wasn't autism. Then she suggested me to come to a clinic for children with special needs she once worked at.
Pada waktu yang lain aku berbincang dengan seorang teman yang banyak membantu anak-anak berkebutuhan khusus. Menurut pengamatannya, Dek Aik bukan autis. Lalu dia menyarankan aku untuk datang ke klinik untuk anak berkebutuhan khusus, tempat dulu dia pernah bekerja.

So I went to the clinic and let the therapist see Dek Aik.  And listen to what she said. My baby pays good attention. He has good eye contact. The delayed speaking was the following of the delayed motoric development. We are on the line to start the therapy next month. Mean while, it is a good idea to bring Dek Aik to a pre school, just to make him interact to more children of his age.
Aku membawa Dek Aik ke klinik itu. Ini kata terapistnya: Dek Aik mau memperhatikan, kontak matanya bagus. Keterlambatan bicaranya adalah lanjutan dari keterlambatan motoriknya. Terapi untuk Dek Aik dijadwalkan dimulai bulan depan. Sambil menunggu, akan bagus jika Dek Aik dimasukkan ke preschool, agar dia bisa lebih banyak berinteraksi dengan anak seusianya.

***

Well, may be Dek Aik didn't pay attention and didn't look to that neighbor of mine's eyes because he thought she doesn't deserve his attention and eye contact. And I don't need to listen to whatever she said, any more.
Well, mungkin Dek Aik tidak mau memperhatikan dan kontak mata dengan tetanggaku itu, karena merasa ngga perlu. Dan kurasa aku juga tidak perlu mendengarkan apa pun yang dikatakan orang itu lagi.

I always want to know what my baby needs, and try to give the best I can, though my best may not be good enough...
Aku selalu ingin tahu apa yang dibutuhkan bayiku, memberi yang terbaik yang aku bisa, meskipun mungkin belum cukup baik...