Not Normal

He is 'not normal' I know. Still I would get mad so bad if someone dare to say that before my face. It is very clear and I don't need any more people to tell. It doesn't help to make him 'normal'. It doesn't help at all. It doesn't make me feel better, at all. 

He's 'not normal' I know. And therefor my love for him is more than normal. And I would do anything I can to help him live normally.

It is boring to be normal, anyway. He's special like any other kids be. He's special and you can't deny it.

The Media

It is always a little bit harder to find a method (and media) for Dek Ai to learn things. It is also a little bit harder to ask him to hold a pen or pencil and scratch.

I just found that this one works quite well. Pencils on floor and he started to 'draw' a ball. I drew some stuffs and numbers, and there he started to recognize number 1 to 3.

We'll keep working on this, for sure :D

The Dilemma

"I wish Pak Toni has never told me about this contest, so I didn't need to have a dilemma, whether I had to join or not."

"Does it matter if you didn't join?"

"It doesn't. But it just don't feel right."

"I thought you joined it because you wanted to win the prize?"

"Yeah... but I know it's hard. The contestants are from all over province and they're all good. I just feel I had to join this."

"Andai Pak Toni tidak memberi tahu soal lomba ini, aku nggak perlu bingung, harus ikut atau enggak..."
"Memangnya kalau nggak ikut kenapa?"
"Nggak kenapa-kenapa. Tapi rasanya ada yang ngganjel..."
"Bukannya Adik pengin ikut karena mau dapat hadiahnya?"
"Iya sih. Tapi kayanya sulit. Pesertanya banyak, dari seluruh Jawa Tengah. Semua bagus-bagus. Aku merasa harus ikut aja sih..." 

Because for the last three years he has been chosen to represent his school in annual Macapat Singing Contest (Javanese traditional song) in the district. It wasn't his desire. It was just the school needed some one, and the teachers thought Ir could do it. So they had an instructor come to teach Ir. And he made it at least in the subdistrict level.

Karena tiga tahun terakhir ini, dia dipilih untuk mewakili sekolah di lomba Macapat yang rutin diadakan tiap tahun di Kabupaten. Bukan dia yang ingin. Tapi sekolah butuh anak yang bisa, dan para guru merasa Ir bisa. Maka mereka memanggil pelatih untuk mengajari Ir nembang Macapat. Hasilnya lumayan, bisa berhasil di tingkat kecamatan.

So he felt as he has the ability, a rare ability, it would be a lost to let a chance passing by.

Jadi karena dia merasa punya kemampuan itu, kemampuan yang sangat jarang, dia merasa eman kalau harus melewatkan kesempatan.

Though he knew he might not make it this time, he pushed him self to come and sing it. He let go a day he could go have a vacation with family. He chose to stand there in the line, waiting for his turn to perform. Number 31 of 35 contestants. In the pressure of nerves and be a witness to many gorgeous voices before him.

Meskipun sadar kali ini kesempatan untuk menang kecil, dia tetap memaksa diri untuk ikut. Dia melepaskan satu hari yang biasanya dipakai untuk berlibur bersama keluarga. Memilih menunggu giliran dia untuk tampil, urutan ke 31 dari 35 peserta. Merasa tertekan oleh rasa gugup dan menjadi saksi suara-suara peserta sebelum dia yang luar biasa.

He hugged me tight before walking to stage, and after stepping down of it. He realized a little mistake he made, and feel fine to accept that he wouldn't be able to win the prize.

Dia memeluk aku erat sebelum naik panggung, dan sesudah turun. Dia menyadari kesalahan kecil yang dia buat saat nembang, dan ikhlas menerima bahwa dia tidak akan bisa memenangi lomba.

Here is his perform, with a little drop down at the end of the song...

Ini penampilannya di tembang wajib, dengan sedikit nada yang anjlog di bagian akhirnya... 

"But it feels sooo right. I've done what I had to do." 

"Tapi rasanya lega. Nggak ngganjel lagi..."

And I am so proud of him.

Finger Activity

Sering lihat sekumpulan orang yang duduk semeja tapi sibuk sendiri-sendiri dengan gadgetnya? Banget, pasti.

Kemarin kami pergi makan malam di sebuah warung penyetan. Usai memesan, aku meminta HP yang dipegang Dan, Ibit, Ar, dan Ir, lalu menumpuknya di tengah meja, juga HP-ku. Kebiasaan sambil menunggu pesanan datang, Dan akan menghidupkan personal hotspot di HPnya, lalu anak-anak mulai connect dan main game...

"Siapa yang pegang HP sebelum acara makan selesai harus bayar tagihannya," kataku.

Semua mengerang.

"Jadi bengong ini kita nunggu pesanannya datang..." kata Ibit.

Lalu semua sibuk mencari kesibukan jari. Ir mengambil tusuk gigi dan memutar-mutarnya di meja. Ar memain-mainkan lembaran tisu. Dan mengetuk-ngetuk meja dengan jari. Ibit memilin-milin ujung kudung. Lucu.

Akhirnya aku ajak mereka main tebak kata. Setiap orang mengulurkan jari ke tengah meja, lalu akan diurutkan abjad mulai A B C hingga sejumlah jari yang dijulurkan. Setiap orang harus menyebutkan satu nama binatang yang dimulai dengan huruf di jari mana abjad terakhir jatuh. Siapa yang tidak berhasil menebak dijitak. Pelan tapi :D

Huruf pertama yang muncul adalah J. Jerapah. Dan tidak ada lagi. Lalu diulang dan muncul huruf S. Sapi, singa, siamang, serigala...

Setelah beberapa huruf, akhirnya pesanan datang. Dan HP aman di tumpukan sampai semua benar-benar selesai makan.

"Jadi sekarang siapa yang bayar?" tanya Ir.

"Ibu. Jadi sebenarnya, kalau mau, Ibu pegang HP dari tadi juga boleh, hehehe..."

***

Mungkin memang harus dibiasakan mencari aktivitas yang membuat kita bisa berinteraksi dengan orang-orang di dekat kita, ketimbang sibuk dengan gadget sendiri-sendiri...

bottles

this is to make sure that every one gets the same number of bottled milk.

14

we make mistakes, then we regret
we can forgive, but can not forget
still we learn, some things don't deserve our sacrifaction.

What happen to Cinderella and the Prince after the wedding? The fairy tale said the got married and live happily ever after. I hope they do.

Apa yang terjadi pada Cinderella dan Pangeran setelah pesta pernikahan? Kata dongeng, mereka menikah dan hidup bahagia selamanya. Semoga.

'Coz in live I find, marriage is way more than live happily ever after. It is a compromizing ever after. You change. Your spouse changes. Life changes. And after since, life is a never ending adaption. Once you may find it hard, and you make mistakes. Some times you don't realize it at all. Some times you realize it is wrong and try to make it right. But there are times you realize it and choose to ignore...

Karena dalam hidup aku mendapati pernikahan lebih dari sekedar hidup bahagia selamanya. Tapi kompromi tiada habisnya. Kau berubah. Pasanganmu berubah. Hidup berubah. Dan sejak itu, hidup adalah adaptasi tak berkesudahan. Sekali waktu kau merasa berat, dan berbuat kesalahan. Kadang kau tidak  menyadarinya. Kadang kau menyadari itu salah dan ingin memperbaiki. Tapi ada juga saat kau memilih tidak peduli meski sadar itu salah...

As I walk the miles, I know I've made lots of mistakes. The small ones. The biggest one. But sure I wouldn't call this gorgeous young lady a mistake...

Menempuh perjalanan sejauh ini, aku tahu aku banyak berbuat kesalahan. Yang kecil. Yang besar. Tapi jelas aku tidak akan menyebut gadis istimewa ini kesalahan...

...neither these silly boys we often call possums...

...juga dua cowok konyol yang sering kami panggil possums ini...

...neither this lovely boy I can't live without.

...atau si kecil yang aku tidak bisa hidup tanpanya.

And therefore it would be a mistake to call the years we've passed a mistake.

Dan karenanya, adalah kesalahan menganggap tahun-tahun yang kami lalui sebagai kesalahan.

Either we are the drivers, or the ride. One thing is sure, we are the ones to carry on the children to a better life. And so, we should never give up compromizing and adapting each other through all changes along the way... 

Kami supirnya, atau mungkin kendaraannya. Yang jelas, kamilah yang harus mengantar mereka menyambut kehidupan yang lebih baik. Dan untuk itu, tidak sepantasnya kami menyerah untuk tetap berkompromi dan saling beradaptasi menghadapi semua perubahan di sepanjang jalan...

Hope we will always be strong. 

Semoga kami bisa tetap bertahan.


=========================================================
Kisah pernikahan ini diikutsertakan pada Giveaway 10th Wedding Anniversary by Heart of Mine

The Princess Ever

You have always been the princess of my heart. Since the day you were born, now, and I know, forever will be.

Kau  adalah putri di hatiku, sejak lahir, sekarang, dan kutahu selamanya.

I can write kilometers of paper about you. Too much to tell. Little Ibit was a tough one, like the prayer in her name, Tsabitah. You always insisted to do things your self since you were about 2 years old. You would ask me to put off the shoes I already put on your feet, and then wore them (again) by your self.

Aku bisa menuliskan ribuan kilometer kertas panjangnya tentangmu. Terlalu banyak untuk diceritakan. Ibit adalah pribadi teguh, seperti doa yang terkandung di dalam namamu,, Tsabitah. Kau selalu ingin mengerjakan segala hal sendiri sejak umur 2 tahun. Kau akan minta aku melepas sepatu yang baru saja kupakaikan di kakimu, untuk kemudian kaupakai (lagi) sendiri.

Every time I remember, 7 old months Ibit in the hospital bed, I can't help my self not to cry. You were so small and weak. And I was a young mother with tons of worries burdened.

Setiap kali aku mengingat, Ibit 7 bulan terbaring di rumah sakit, aku tidak bisa menahan tangis. Kau begitu kecil dan lemah. Dan aku waktu itu, ibu muda yang penuh kekhawatiran.

I will never forget a conversation we had when you were 5. You were telling about a friend who was so beautiful and clever. 'Her skin is white,  not black like mine.'

I told you that it is more important to be a nice person than a beautiful one.

'Yeah, but people will like you more when you are nice and beautiful as well'.

I was so speechless. I didn't know what to say, until you said, 'How ever I am thankful that my face is normal. I have eyes to see, lips to speak with, and nose to breathe with. I don't have acnes that would make me look ugly...'

Aku tidak akan lupa suatu percakapan ketika kau berusia 5 tahun. kau bercerita tentang seorang teman yang cantik dan pintar. 'Kulitnya putih, tidak hitam sepertiku.'

Aku katakan padamu, lebih penting menjadi orang yang baik ketimbang orang cantik.

'Yeah, tapi orang akan lebih gampang suka kalau kamu baik hati dan juga cantik...'

Aku bingung harus ngomong apa. Lalu kau berkata lagi, 'Tapi aku tetap bersyukur punya wajah yang lengkap. Aku punya mata untuk melihat, bibir untuk bicara, hidung untuk bernapas. Wajahku tidak jerawatan, kalau jerawatan itu jadi jelek...'

I am one of those who agree not to  push children to read before elementary school. But you asked to learn to read when you were 4, I taught you as best as I could and you learned easily. As time goes by, I can see how you love music as much as I do. With an old keyboard my sister gave me, and with my limited ability in playing music I taught her, you were so confident standing on kindergarten year end stage, play the keyboard while singing. 

Aku termasuk yang setuju untuk tidak memaksa anak belajar membaca sebelum masuk SD. Tapi kau minta sendiri ketika umurmu 4 tahun. Aku mengajari sebisanya, dan kau belajar cepat. Seiring waktu, aku bisa melihat betapa kau suka musik seperti aku. Dengan kibod tua pemberian Budhemu, dan pelajaran dari kemampuan seadanya yang kumiliki, kau penuh percaya diri bermain kibod sambil bernyanyi di panggung akhirussanah TK.

Some times I feel, it was me who directed you to do things you do now. You like drawing. You love singing. You learned to play piano and guitar. Those all are 'me'. Well off course not the piano and guitar. My parents were to poor to buy musical instruments. That's why I feel, it was me who wanted you to play musics, a revenge to my unreached childhood dream. But if so, wouldn't I need to push you to? Seem I never felt so. You always look to do that gladly.

Kadang aku merasa, aku yang mengarahkanmu untuk melakukan hal-hal yang dia lakukan sekarang. Kau suka menggambar. Kau suka menyanyi. Kau belajar main piano dan gitar. Semua itu aku banget. Well, tentu saja selain piano. Orang tuaku dulu terlalu miskin untuk bisa beli alat musik. Itu sebab aku merasa, aku yang menginginkanmu bermain musik, sebagai pelampiasan mimpi masa kecilku. Tapi jika memang begitu, bukankah aku harus memaksamu? Nyatanya, kau tidak pernah merasa terpaksa. Semua kau lakukan dengan senang hati.

Some people think mommies want to make their children trophies for them selves by making their kids trophy gainer. Some may think I am one of those. But you know I'm not, I only offer you and you brothers competition or contest you want and enjoy to join. Remember later in your last year in elementary school, you got bored of competition and contest, and I let you quit. So I would just tell how gorgeous you are in my eyes. You are miracle handed to me. You always been special in your own way. Whatever you have achieved are all yours, and all I can do is support you as best as I can.

Sebagian orang berpikir, ada ibu yang menjadikan anak mereka piala buat diri mereka, dengan menjadikan anak mesin penambang piala. Barangkali ada yang menyangka aku adalah salah satunya. Tapi kau tahu, aku hanya menawarkan setiap kali ada lomba, barangkali kau atau adikmu ingin ikut lomba yang kalian sukai. Kau ingat di tahun terakhir SD, kau mulai bosan mengikuti lomba dan berhenti sama sekali. Kubiarkan. Jadi kukatakan saja bagaimana kau begitu istimewa di mataku. Kau keajaiban yang diletakkan di tanganku. Kau selalu menjadi istimewa dengan caramu sendiri. Apapun yang kau raih adalah milikmu,, aku hanya mendukung sebisanya.

Now as you are a teen, I can see you growing outside and inside. You always have your own reasons in making decisions, and I respect that. You make your own choices and I let you have that. We discuss things and I always try not to tell you to do things you don't feel comfortable with.

Sekarang Ibit sudah remaja. Aku melihat kau menjadi dewasa luar dalam. Kau selalu punya alasan untuk setiap keputusan, dan aku menghargainya. Kau membuat sendiri setiap pilihan. Kita berdiskusi tentang banyak hal, dan aku berusaha tidak memaksamu melakukan hal-hal yang tidak nyaman bagimu..

Thank you for understanding all minus things in me as a mother. Some times I think it is me who has to learn about life from you. Thank you for being my friend and hope you will always be. 

Terima kasih, kau selalu memahami semua kekuranganku sebagai ibu. Kadang aku pikir, aku yang harus banyak belajar tentang hidup darimu. Terima kasih sudah menjadi temanku, semoga selamanya begitu.

New Adventure for Dek Ai'

These few last weeks have been so busy for Dek Ai'. He, as the therapist suggested, is now going to a play group. I brought the recommendation from the psycholog we've seen couple months ago.

Minggu-minggu terakhir ini jadi sibuk buat Dek Ai'. Seperti disarankan terapisnya, bulan ini Dek Ai' mulai masuk play group. Aku membawa surat rekomendasi dari psikolog yang sudah kami temui dua bulan sebelumnya.

There were two grades of play group in the school Dek Ai' is rolling in. For ages 2-3 and 3-4. As I realize that Dek Ai's ability is below the rate, I told the teacher to just put Dek Ai' in the first grade. But she said, it's okay to let Dek Ai' join friends of his age. We will see the progress to see what to do next.

Ada dua tingkat play group di sekolah Dek Ai' ini. Untuk usia 2-3 tahun dan untuk usia 3-4 tahun. Menyadari kemampuan mental maupun motorik Dek Ai' yang  masih di bawah rata-rata usianya, aku bilang ke gurunya untuk dimasukkan ke usia 2-3 tahun saja. Tapi kata Bu Guru, dia akan membiarkan Dek Ai' bergabung dengan teman-teman seusianya. Nanti akan dilihat perkembangannya untuk menentukan langkah selanjutnya.

I could only accompany him on the first day, and let the nanny do the next. Still I always ask how things go in the school. Dek Ai' usually cries the first time he enters the class. He wants nanny to get in too but off course she can't. But then things go just fine. Dek Ai' enjoys playing with friends and teachers. He still needs to adapt with the new environment, and learn to share things with his friends.

Aku hanya bisa menemani di hari pertama, dan selanjutnya Embak yang menemani. Meskipun begitu aku selalu menanyakan bagaimana keadaannya. Biasanya Dek Ai' menangis ketika memasuki kelas, minta Embak ikut masuk. Tentu saja tidak boleh. Tapi lama-kelamaan Dek Ai' akan mulai bergabung dengan teman-temannya. Dia masih perlu beradaptasi dengan suasana baru, dan belajar berbagi banyak hal.

The other day, I and Dan took Dek Ai' to see an orthopedic doctor. We consulted about his flat feet. My sister said he might need a special shoe that would correct the error. But doctor said he was fine. His flat feet are still in the tolerable range. Slowly his feet will find the best position, though it wouldn't be 100% normal. Flat feet will make him easy to get tired when he walks for a long time. But we can reduce that by giving him an inner sole inside his shoes. He also suggested to give Dek Ai' boots that cover his ankle, and tighten the shoes. That would help him to straighten the ankle.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, aku dan Dan membawa Dek Ai' ke dokter ortopedi untuk berkonsultasi tentang kakinya yang flat. Kata kakakku, flat Dek Ai' parah, dan mungkin butuh sepatu khusus untuk memperbaikinya. Tapi kata dokternya, flat di kaki Dek Ai' masih dalam batas toleransi. Seiring usia, kakinya akan menemukan posisi terbaik meskipun tidak bisa 100% normal. Kaki flat akan lebih mudah capek jika berjalan jauh. Tapi hal itu bisa dikurangi dengan menambahkan insole khusus di dalam sepatunya. Dokter hanya  menyarankan untuk memberi Dek Ai' sepatu boots menutup mata kaki, dan diketatkan saat memakainya. Itu akan membantu dia meluruskan pergelangan kakinya yang agak bengkok karena flatnya.

So two more worries passed. More to come to face to soon pass too...

Dua kekhawatiran terlewati. Akan ada banyak kekhawatiran datang dan harus dihadapi, untuk kemudian dilewati juga...

Rules

Dek Ai' never let me put the toy cars in groups by colors, which was the best way I taught his older brothers about colors. 

Dek Ai' has his own rules putting the cars in groups. That big red van with that the yellow sporty one. The red, green and yellow small ones with other small cars. And those last four in a row.

Can you see the rules for the last four? They are various in shapes and colors. So what the similarity? They were bought in one set. Yes he remembers that.

He still have one other group of buses and train, and a group of big sedans. He only plays one group at a time.

You may wonder why I pour him with so many toy cars. Well you bet. I pour him with things much more than I gave to his siblings. Not because I love him more than the others. I love them all the same. It's just that Dek Ai' needs more specific  stimulants to learn things. And as I still  haven't found that specific thing, all I can do is give him as much as I can.

I hope that will work.

what flows down

Without knowing where I got my senses from, I enjoy music like I breathe. There was nobody to teach me to play any music instrument. But my father knew there was music in me. So he borrowed a recorder from the school where he taught. I just read the instructions and made it to play some simple songs. I wanted to have a guitar but we didn't have enough money to buy one.

Mean while, as a painting teacher, Father taught me how to paint. He never told me much. He just told me to read 'how to paint' book series and give some comments when he thought needed. 

I lived with water color, paper, and brushes. Colors were my friends. The colors in my palette weren't red and yellow and green and blue. I was familiar with cobalt blue, light yellow, lemon yellow, burnt umber, burnt sienna. I mixed them to create more colors on the paper, and be a painting.

Later when I went to college, my older sister bought me a guitar with her first salary. It was definitely a dream come true. So I bought a cheap book of how to play guitar, and started to learn to play. That's how I learned, with some lessons I got from some friends.

I kept painting during college. Father gave me some brushes and paints to work with. 

When I finally got married and birthed, I got no time to do either painting or playing music. I sold my guitar, and gave my painting tools to a boy lived next door.

In the middle of 2009, I bought a guitar. It was supposed to be for my kids. I had a music teacher to come once a week to teach them. Turned out I couldn't help my self. I strummed again. 

A couple years ago I attended a friend's painting exhibition. The smell of the oil paint struck into my nose. Right then I called my father. I want to paint again.

***

This evening when I got home, Ar asked me, "Ibu, will you teach us to paint?"

I was so tired but I said yes. Yes dear off course I will. So they prepared everything and we started to work. It has been more than 12 years since the last time I held my brush. I opened the books again, read the tutorials again, and together learn to paint (again) with Ar and Ir.

While waiting for the basic colors to dry, I saw Ibit learning to play guitar. Thing she has been doing for last couple months. She refused to learn to play guitar before, and chose piano as her fingers were still to small to tick the strings in frets. But she can do it now, and the progress was quite well. I gave her my book and told her a little theory I learned.

I may be not a good musician, neither a painter. But I have learned both as the meal for my soul. I am so thin in theory, I practiced naturally. 

I am so happy that my kids have found the same need in them. And I, with my limited knowledge and skill, am so happy to share what I know with them.

I never hope they will be a great musician nor painter. Just knowing how they live with arts, has filled my heart. They will be real human, the complete ones. 

Lebaran di Gunung (Edisi I)

Aku anak gunung. Tapi aku suka pantai. Kami sekeluarga suka pantai. Setiap ada kesempatan kumpul keluarga, aku dan kakak adikku menyempatkan 'piknik'. Seringnya ke pantai. Yogya. Pacitan.
I'm a girl from up the hill. But I always love beaches. My whole family do. Whenever we have time together, we will manage a picnic. Mostly to beaches in Yogya or Pacitan.

Biasanya, kami berkumpul di rumah Bapak-Ibu, atau di rumah salah satu dari kami ketika musim liburan sekolah. Lebaran juga jadi salah satu momen kumpul bareng.
Usually, we gather at my parents' house, or at one of ours during the school holidays. Eid also be the other moment to gather.

Lebaran tahun ini kami sedang malas ke pantai. Seperti biasa jika semua saudara beserta anak-anak berkumpul, kami melakukan hal-hal 'tidak bermutu'. Main kartu. Main Play Station. Nyumet kembang api. Ngobrol ke sana kemari. Dan tentu yang tidak ketinggalan: jalan-jalan. Kondisi Bapak sedang tidak terlalu kuat. Jadi kami memilih tempat piknik tidak terlalu jauh. Sehabis sholat Ied kami pergi ke sebuah resto di dataran tinggi Karanganyar. Selain makan, ada berbagai arena bermain anak seperti flying fox, atv, permainan panjat memanjat. Betah lah mereka bermain, sementara yang dewasa ngobrol, memotret, makan...
This Eid we were not in the  mood to go to beaches. Like we always do when everyone is around, we just did simple things such as playing cards and games and set fireworks and talked here and there. And off course a walk. After shalat Eid we went to a restaurant in Karanganyar highland. They have more than just foods. Many games were ready for the kids to play while the adults had seats and talks. Some were busy taking pictures of the children.

Begini kami tidur jika semua berkumpul. Berserakan di mana-mana...

Tidak jauh dari situ ada kebun teh. Lokasinya lumayan eksotis. Apalagi ketika sampai di sana langit sedang menjatuhkan gerimis. Ditambah hawa dingin pegunungan, warung kopi pinggir jalan dan mi instan membuat sore menjadi renyah untuk dikunyah.
A little lower from the restaurant area there was a tea plantation. Quite exotic. More over when we got there the sky was pouring soft raindrops. Together with the cool wind, a small coffee shop and hot instant noodle, they make the afternoon crunchy to enjoy...

Kami sebrayat :)

Sebelum pulang kami mampir ke air terjun Parang Ijo. Tidak sebesar Grojogan Sewu, tapi cantik. Airnya lebih dingin dari udaranya. Tapi anak-anak nekat juga mandi di kolamnya. Brr.
Before we went home, we stopped by at Parang Ijo waterfall. Not as big as Grojogan Sewu, but beatiful. The water was even colder than the weather, but still the kids jumped in. Brr.

Hari kedua, pagi sebelum berkunjung ke sanak saudara, aku dan kakakku mengajak anak-anak mendaki bukit di dekat rumah. Dulu semasa kecil, aku sering diajak Bapak ke sana. Tidak terlalu tinggi. Kurang dari setengah jam jalan kaki untuk sampai ke puncak. Lalu kami akan bisa memandang ke utara, ke arah kampung kami. Ke barat, menebar pandangan sampai ke perbatasan kota. Ke tenggara, tampak waduk Gajah Mungkur.
The day after, morning before we visited familis, we took the  kids in a hiking up the hill near home. When I was a kid, my father often brought me there. It is not too high. It only needs less than 30 minutes walking to get up to the peak. Then we can look to the north and see our village. To the west and spread the view to the border of the town. To the south east and see Gajah Mungkur Dam.

Belasan tahun tidak naik, ternyata jalan mendaki ke sana sekarang lebih nyaman. Mobil dan motor bisa naik sampai separuh jalan. Setelahnya ada tangga buatan dari beton. Hanya pendakian ke batu terakhir yang agak sulit. Benar-benar harus memanjat batu.
It has been years since my last hiking there, the path has become easier to pass through. Cars and motor bike can run half way up. After that you just have to walk up stairs, and a little climb on the last rock to the peak.

Sedikit sebelum puncak bukit...

Liburan bersama saudara-saudaraku selalu melelahkan. Tapi menyenangkan. Dan kami selalu ketagihan untuk liburan bersama selanjutnya.
Vacation with my siblings and the kids are always tiring. But FUN. And we're always addicted to do the next one.

ramadhan this year

this year Ar and Ir do full fasting from dawn to dusk. this is day 17 and they haven't left even one. neither does Ibit. I'm glad that they don't complain about being thirsty or hungry or hot weather. well they did on first day. but even adults some times do on first days.

last week we had a plan to kill time and make the sun set sooner. we made cookies for lebaran. and after that prepared some fruits to break our fast. it did well and fun. 

I said the cookies are for lebaran. but kids say lebaran is still two weeks away and the cookies might not be fresh by the time. well okay... so we decided to just enjoy them as soon as they were ready...

the twin cards

I have just finished 15 sets of twin cards (that means 30) of animals for Dek Aik. to put twin cards in sets has been his favorite session in the speech therapy. it helps him to improve his ability to identify things.

I still have a set of fruits pictures to do. and hope I will find more sets of vehicles, professions and things around us. they're difficult to find. I might just find some pictures from internet and print them.

Pemahaman

Idul Fitri is coming soon. Means we have to meet families and more people in silaturahim. Means I have gotta be ready for questions that might come about Dek Ai's speech delay.

***

So far, we assumed Dek Ai' is in the level of pointing things to communicate. He goes to the kitchen and points his bottle when he wants milk. Things like that. Like, he has to see things we're talking about to understand.

Last night we were going to bed. I was bothering him with some words.

"let's take a bath..."

"naaaa..."

"let's sleep..."

"yaaa..."

"let's go out and ride car"

He didn't say a word. He just woke up and held my hand to follow him.

"where's the key? get the car key..."

He ran to the table and seek the key, and got it.

"call Bapak, Bapak will drive us"

And he got back to the room and called. "mppaaak...! mpaaak...!"

And I was sure that he understands words better than people think he does.

***

My next goal is for him to say 'susu' (milk) if he wants some. So he doesn't need to drag me to the kitchen and point the bottle.

"wuh wuh!"

"susu?"

"yaaa...."

(Bukan) Cah Pekok

Bagaimana orang tua memperlakukan anak, mungkin memang dipengaruhi banyak hal. Sifat dasar, tingkat pendidikan dan kondisi psikologis orang tua, lingkungan.

Ada orang yang memang di dalam dirinya sudah tumbuh  kecintaan pada anak. Anak siapa saja. Terlebih pada anaknya. Anak adalah makhluk-makhluk manis yang hanya berhak  mendapatkan curahan kasih sayang. Ada orang yang tidak suka anak. Anak siapa saja. Termasuk anaknya sendiri. Anak adalah kerepotan dalam hidup.

Ada orang yang mengerti dan terus berusaha mencari tahu segala hal baik yang harus diberikan kepada anak. Ada yang hanya mendengar tutur turun temurun tanpa ingin mencari konfirmasi baik buruknya.

Di suatu lingkungan masyarakat yang kukenal, di  mana rata-rata pendidikan penduduknya tidak terlalu tinggi, hal-hal tentang mengasuh anak sering menjadi keprihatinan tersendiri buatku. Para usia muda dengan pendidikan minimal SMA, ternyata masih banyak juga yang sekedar anut apa kata tetua.

Banyak hal sedih kutemui menyangkut perlakuan orang tua -termasuk lingkungan- yang tidak semestinya terhadap anak. Seorang anak yang bibirnya sumbing dikucilkan. Orang tuanya jadi bahan gunjingan. Seorang anak yang mengidap ayan dijauhi. Takut tertular kejang dan berbusa. Bahkan dia dianggap 'gila'.

Seorang anak dengan keterbelakangan mental, bicara tidak jelas, apalagi tidak bisa bicara, akan dipanggil 'cah pekok'. Dia sangat rentan jadi bahan olok-olokan anak-anak sebayanya. Dan bahan gunjingan asik bagi para orang dewasa.

Aku mengerti sekali kekhawatiran keenam orang tuaku. Enam. Bapak Ibuku. Bapak Ibu mertuaku. Dan embah mertuaku. Dek Ai' sampai lewat usia tiga tahun belum juga bisa bicara banyak. Dari mulutnya baru muncul satu dua kata. Aku mengerti sekali rasa malu yang Bapak Ibu mertua dan Embah mertuaku mungkin rasakan, dengan lingkungan pemahaman yang menyedihkan itu. Come on. Jangankan di desa terpelosok begitu, bahkan di lingkungan rumah tempat tinggal kami yang notabene kota dan maju, pembicaraan miring tentang Dek Ai' masih kudengar sayup-sayup...

Gimana rasanya kalau ada yang 'kewetu' di depan mereka, atau di depanku, bahwa Dek Ai' itu 'cah pekok'?

***

Aku tidak malu dengan keadaan Ai'. Jika ada yang bertanya kenapa dia masih ber 'ah-uh' saja dan belum bisa bicara, ya memang dia belum bisa bicara. Tapi kelak dia akan bisa.

Dan sudah sebisa mungkin menjelaskan ke orang tua dan embah, bahwa Dek Ai' sudah ditangani psikolog dan terapis yang menguasai permasalahannya. Mempunyai kapasitas untuk menganalisis kondisi Dek Ai', menyusun program dan kurikulum yang runtut untuk dilatihkan. Dek Ai' bukan anak autis. Bukan anak down syndrome. Bukan cah pekok.

Dia terlambat dan akan mengejar. Bukan tidak bisa bicara. 

the accident

Yesterday afternoon Cempluk, our little kitten, get home wounded. Her leg was broken and bleeding so badly. We tried to give her a help but she was like screaming every time we tried to touch her.We called the vet but he was out of town and might be home late.

At about nine the vet texted me, he just got home but so tired and sleepy. He couldn't see Cempluk then and promised to come in the morning. I tried to just accept that. But at about eleven before we should be going to bed, Ibit took a look at Cempluk and found the kitten didn't move at all. Ibit thought she was died. I saw her and find her still breathing. I immediately brought her to the vet's home and ask for some help.

He was shocked to see Cempluk's condition. He didn't think it was that bad. Oh it was, so bad. He said Cempluk must have been hit by a car. We couldn't figure out who's car that could be. Coz' ours didn't get out the carport the whole day.

The vet started to suture the wound, while observing Cempluk. He said Cempluk was already in a comma for losing too much blood and bearing too much pain, she didn't respond the light that was directed to her eyes. 

So after it was done, we brought Cempluk home. And right when we got home and I brought the basket out of the car, we found that Cempluk was no longer breathing.

We did what we could. Wasn't the best I know. We should've tried to find other vet to help her as soon as possible. I do hope this would never happen again.

Good bye, Cempluk.

terlambat

59 detik

location: my office

Niki and the suspense.

This morning began with a suspense. the boys were looking for Niki. We haven't seen her since yesterday evening. The last time she was seen by Ibit at around 4 pm. Hurt, lying near the fence.

Nanny said Niki's leg might have been crushed when Dan unpark the car out of the carport. I was opening the block gate. The kids we're at their friends' house. So there was no one who made sure no cat were lying under the car.

As the car went out, Nanny heard Niki crying out. She got out the house to check out and found Niki's leg was hurt.

No body told me about this until this morning. So I was kinda panic. We tried to seek Niki but couldn't find it. I went to office with so not abysmally feeling. I thinj I cried a little bit thinkin of Niki.

This afternoon Ir texted me saying Niki was found. One of his leg was lame and at seem hurts. I told him to just let her have some rest, give her some milk and food for her to soon be healed. Hopefully.

Huft...

Parking and unparking has been a traumatic moment. Two kitten has been killed accidentally. Now Niki get her leg hurt.

Think we have to be more careful after this.

Pancake by Ar Ir

they wanted it and they made it. I and Ibit just watched and helped a lil bit. It is dark because we ran out of milk. we could only find chocolate milk, and it just did.

taa daaaaa!

Visual Game Session

Putting pictures in sets has been Dek Ai's favorite session during speech therapy. The therapist puts (up to) 20 cards of different picture on the table. Dek Ai' has to put every card the therapist gives him on the card with the same picture.

I've been wanting to make some at home and finally last night I did. I made cards of numbers 1 to 10. I'm not planning to introduce the concept of numbers now, but at least he recognize the shapes of the numbers. Hopefully it will be easier for him to understand when it comes to the concept.

We had fun. I still have more pictures of animals and fruits to work on. Soon.

Shadow Exploration

I don't know what he was thinking. but I can see he was amazed with his own shadow on the wall.

Otot

Kemampuan bicara memang sangat dipengaruhi kekuatan otot mulut ya. Itu mungkin kenapa bayi diciptakan harus menyusu sesaat setelah lahir. Menyusu dari tetek ibunya, bukan dari dot karet atau silikon.

Sejak awal Dek Ai' memang tidak sabaran kalau menetek. ASI memang tidak langsung keluar sekali hisap. Harus beberapa kali hisap dulu. Nah ini yang dia tidak sabar menunggu. Menghisap beberapa kali, ASI belum keluar, dia ngamuk. Lalu nangis sejadinya. Kalau sudah begitu, susah didiamkan. Dan ndak jadi nyusu.

Iya, kalau pakai botol, susu langsung keluar di hisapan pertama. Dek Ai' bukan ndak mau ASI. Dia ndak mau netek. Sampai usia Dek Ai' tujuh bulan, aku masih berusaha meres siang malam. Lalu diminumkan pakai botol. Tapi lama-lama capek rasanya. Aku mulai males. Perlahan sufor berkuasa.

***

Dulu, Ibit sudah bisa minum pakai sedotan di usia tujuh bulan. Aku masih rajin-rajinnya ngurus bayi yang cuma satu. Ndak ada kerjaan lain. Aku buatkan alat khusus untuk melatih Ibit minum dengan sedotan. Ar dan Ir bisa dengan sendirinya, di usia 14 - 15 bulan.

Aku tidak meluangkan waktu khusus untuk mengajari Dek Ai' minum dengan sedotan, dengan harapan dia akan bisa sendiri; seperti mas-masnya. Ternyata sampai usia hampir tiga tahun dia belum bisa. Juga baru saja bisa menumpahkan air kumur dari mulutnya. Jadi sampai beberapa waktu lalu dia belum pakai pasta gigi, dan masih kumur dengan air matang, langsung ditelan.

Baru minggu lalu dia bisa nglepeh air kumur. Tapi aku belum berani kasih pasta gigi. Biar dulu.

Minggu lalu aku membuat alat seperti yang dulu kupakai mengajari Ibit minum pakai sedotan. Dari botol air mineral. Tutupnya dilubangi pas sebesar diameter sedotan. Ketika sedotan di mulut, botol sedikit ditekan untuk membantu daya kapiler air agar naik. It works. Setelah beberapa hari latihan, Dek Ai' mulai bisa menyedot, meskipun masih perlu dibantu dengan tekanan, sedikit-sedikit.

Iya, aku tahu. Botol kemasan air mineral tidak baik dipakai ulang. Jadi aku sedia beberapa buah botol, untuk ganti.

Mudah-mudahan dengan bisa minum pakai sedotan, otot mulut Dek Ai' bisa lebih kuat. Dan dia bisa lebih cepat bicara.

Double Ten

you are now officially ten
I don't have much to say
happy birthday

you both have been magics live's brought to us.

Meniru.

Katanya, anak adalah peniru terbaik di dunia. Juga ketika bicara, dia meniru orang dewasa di sekitarnya.

Tapi kenapa Dek Ai' tidak mau meniru bicara? Hingga pada usia hampir tiga dia belum juga bisa bicara?

Ketika memulai terapi wicara sekitar empat bulan yang lalu, aku belum punya bayangan bagaimana mengajak anak untuk meniru gerakan mulut, bersuara, apalagi yang bermakna: berkata-kata. Ternyata sebelum anak benar-benar belajar bicara, banyak hal yang harus diajarkan.

Hal pertama mengajar Dek Ai' untuk patuh selama sesi terapi. Belajar konsep. Belajar meniru.

Baru pekan yang lalu pelajaran bicara dimulai. Dek Ai' diajak duduk di depan kaca, dan meniru gerakan mulut terapis. Dan hari ini Dek Ai' mulai mau meniru 'ma' dan 'aaa' dan 'iiii'....

Bagian dari sesi terapi yang jadi favorit Dek Ai' adalah menyamakan gambar. Dua puluh gambar yang berbeda ditebar di atas meja. Setiap kali terapis mengeluarkan satu kartu, Dek Ai' harus meletakkannya di gambar yang sama. Dia bisa. Suka, malah.

Aku ingin memasukkan Dek Ai' ke kelompok bermain. Sepertinya masih ada keraguan dari pihak 'sekolah' untuk menerima Dek Ai'. Mereka meminta catatan dari psikolog, untuk memastikan apakah Dek Ai' bisa diterima atau tudak. Beuh, repotnya.

Oke, sedang dicarikan jadwal bertemu psikolog. Kita tunggu saja.

Learn to Play

babies need to learn, even just to play. they wouldn't know what to do with the toys, until some one teach them.

it's been a special effort to introduce toy cars to Dek Ai'. I've bought him many kinds before he accepted one. slowly he enjoyed pushing it forward and backward. later he recognized the head and the tail of the car.

so I brought him to the store and let him choose the toy car he likes. well, the affordable ones, off corse. I asked some helps from the twins, to show him how to have fun with toy cars and play together.

I've introduced him to tunnels, which is a little chair. now I am planning to build some bridges and fly overs. I'm still trying to find the materials...

the other progress is that now Dek Ai' also play with small toy cars, he formerly refused.

I know I have a lot to do. and I believe that every process, and every progress, is a special gift.

The Telepathy

I and Mel have been bloggie friends since 2008. I forgot how we found each other. But however, now as we no longer blog as much as we used to, we're still connected on Facebook.

Mel and I have daughters of the same age, Emma and Ibit. Couple years ago they wrote letters each other. It was interrupted when Mel's family had to move from Oregon to where they live now. I completely understand.

Few days ago Ibit said she wanted to start writing letters to Emma again. I said i had to ask Mel their new address. Guess I was too busy, I forgot to.

Today when I got home I found a letter laid on the table. It was from Emma for Ibit. Oh wow. I felt so guilty. I thought Ibit has contacted Mel through my FB to ask their new address. Turned out she hasn't. She even was so surprise to receive the letter. And happy.

I think it is cute. Sweet. How Emma and Ibit are connected in a way I don't understand. I mean, as long as I know Emma closed her blog for family and doesn't have FB account.

Ibit said it was like a telepathy. No, off course it is not. Whatever it is, it's great. I know it might sounds like an impossible dream but, I hope one day our families will have a chance to meet up. Amin.

The Balancing

Kemarin sore aku dan Ibit ngobrol panjang, sambil membuka plastik buku-buku yang aku borong dengan membabi buta di acara diskon 40%. Membahas sekilas tiap-tiap buku dari sampulnya. Membahas resolusiku untuk menulis satu cerpen dan membaca satu buku setiap bulan. Membahas resolusinya untuk mengerjakan PR sepulang sekolah dan sholat tepat waktu.

Ibit bercerita, bahwa dia baru saja meletakkan kesempatan untuk duduk di Dewan Galang Pramuka. 'Pelajaran sudah cukup berat, dan aku sudah jadi pengurus OSIS dan Rohis. Aku ingin tetap punya waktu untuk kegiatan di luar sekolah.' Yang dia maksudkan mungkin pergi jalan-jalan atau nonton bioskop. Tapi ternyata juga termasuk ikut terlibat di aktivitasku berkesenian. Bertemu banyak orang dan sesekali tampil di pagelaran. Tentu saja ini melegakan.

Pagi ini aku mengajaknya ke pertemuan komunitas sketser, dan mampir ke pameran kaleng di seberang gedung tempat pertemuan. Barang-barang yang dipajang di pameran itu adalah segala sesuatu yang terbuat dari kaleng, baja tipis bersalut timah, dan semuanya antik. Mulai dari mainan, peralatan minum dan makan, kemasan oli, perman, minyak rambut, sampai sampo. Ada yang masih mulus tapi kebanyakan sudah karatan. Dan dijual dengan harga yang menakjubkan. Bayangkan, sebuah kaleng wadah kertas rokok lintingan yang sudah kusam dan karatan, dibanderol Rp. 100.000.

Mahal? Aku senang Ibit tidak beranggapan begitu. Dia bisa menerima bahwa semua barang di pameran itu adalah benda antik dengan sejarah keberadaannya, bukan barang rongsokan. Dan dia bukan sekedar senang, tapi bangga mendapat kesempatan melihat pameran itu. Keren, katanya. Dia tidak sabar ingin menceritakan pengalamannya hari ini kepada teman-teman sekolahnya besok.

"Tidak ada anak di sekolahku yang seberuntung aku, bisa melihat pameran unik seperti itu."

Dan tidak ada ibu yang sebahagia aku, bisa membuatnya begitu bangga dan gembira dengan mengajaknya melakukan hal-hal (yang tampaknya) sederhana. Yang lebih membahagiakan, sebenarnya, adalah dia mulai memahami bahwa dia butuh aktivitas lain selain nggekeng di dalam pagar sekolah.
Menjadi materi refreshing tapi juga menambah pengetahuan.

Kapan-kapan kita nonton pameran lukisan ya, Mbak Ibit ;)

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The Intelligence

It is sad to hear some one says that your child is stupid, isn't it? Or some thing not exactly that word. Just a sentence such as 'oh, this kid is not stupid ya', which means for once this person thought the kid is.
Sedih nggak sih, kalau dengar ada orang mengatakan anakmu 'bodoh'? Meski ngga senyata itu sekali pun. Misalnya, 'oh, ternyata anak ini nggak bodoh ya'. Yang berarti dia sempat berpikir ini anak bodoh.

I believe every child has their own intelligence. My baby is not speaking yet, may be he's just not there, yet. But when he face his tablet he knows where to touch to get to the games he likes. And he knows how to play the games. He knows how to find his favorite videos and music. He knows what to do with his toys, books, shoes, clothes, milk bottles...
Aku sih percaya, setiap anak mempunyai kecerdasan sendiri-sendiri. Bayiku belum bisa bicara, ya mungkin karena dia belum sampai ke sana. Tapi kalau dia sedang menghadapi tablet-nya, dia tahu caranya menuju games kesukaannya. Dia bisa main gamenya. Dia tahu caranya membuka video dan foto-foto favoritnya. Dia tahu harus berbuat apa dengan mainan, buku, sepatu, baju, botol susu...

He knows a lot more than what people around him think he does.
Dia tahu lebih banyak dari yang diperkirakan orang-orang di sekelilingnya.

Maybe he just needs more stimulant than other kids need. And that's what we'll give.
Mungkin dia cuma butuh lebih banyak rangsangan dari pada anak lain pada umumnya. Kasih dah...