The Dilemma

"I wish Pak Toni has never told me about this contest, so I didn't need to have a dilemma, whether I had to join or not."

"Does it matter if you didn't join?"

"It doesn't. But it just don't feel right."

"I thought you joined it because you wanted to win the prize?"

"Yeah... but I know it's hard. The contestants are from all over province and they're all good. I just feel I had to join this."

"Andai Pak Toni tidak memberi tahu soal lomba ini, aku nggak perlu bingung, harus ikut atau enggak..."
"Memangnya kalau nggak ikut kenapa?"
"Nggak kenapa-kenapa. Tapi rasanya ada yang ngganjel..."
"Bukannya Adik pengin ikut karena mau dapat hadiahnya?"
"Iya sih. Tapi kayanya sulit. Pesertanya banyak, dari seluruh Jawa Tengah. Semua bagus-bagus. Aku merasa harus ikut aja sih..." 

Because for the last three years he has been chosen to represent his school in annual Macapat Singing Contest (Javanese traditional song) in the district. It wasn't his desire. It was just the school needed some one, and the teachers thought Ir could do it. So they had an instructor come to teach Ir. And he made it at least in the subdistrict level.

Karena tiga tahun terakhir ini, dia dipilih untuk mewakili sekolah di lomba Macapat yang rutin diadakan tiap tahun di Kabupaten. Bukan dia yang ingin. Tapi sekolah butuh anak yang bisa, dan para guru merasa Ir bisa. Maka mereka memanggil pelatih untuk mengajari Ir nembang Macapat. Hasilnya lumayan, bisa berhasil di tingkat kecamatan.

So he felt as he has the ability, a rare ability, it would be a lost to let a chance passing by.

Jadi karena dia merasa punya kemampuan itu, kemampuan yang sangat jarang, dia merasa eman kalau harus melewatkan kesempatan.

Though he knew he might not make it this time, he pushed him self to come and sing it. He let go a day he could go have a vacation with family. He chose to stand there in the line, waiting for his turn to perform. Number 31 of 35 contestants. In the pressure of nerves and be a witness to many gorgeous voices before him.

Meskipun sadar kali ini kesempatan untuk menang kecil, dia tetap memaksa diri untuk ikut. Dia melepaskan satu hari yang biasanya dipakai untuk berlibur bersama keluarga. Memilih menunggu giliran dia untuk tampil, urutan ke 31 dari 35 peserta. Merasa tertekan oleh rasa gugup dan menjadi saksi suara-suara peserta sebelum dia yang luar biasa.

He hugged me tight before walking to stage, and after stepping down of it. He realized a little mistake he made, and feel fine to accept that he wouldn't be able to win the prize.

Dia memeluk aku erat sebelum naik panggung, dan sesudah turun. Dia menyadari kesalahan kecil yang dia buat saat nembang, dan ikhlas menerima bahwa dia tidak akan bisa memenangi lomba.

Here is his perform, with a little drop down at the end of the song...

Ini penampilannya di tembang wajib, dengan sedikit nada yang anjlog di bagian akhirnya... 

"But it feels sooo right. I've done what I had to do." 

"Tapi rasanya lega. Nggak ngganjel lagi..."

And I am so proud of him.