What are the differences between twin and not?
I always considered Ar Ir as two brothers who were happening to come out to this world in 6 minutes delay. That's why I never bought them the same clothes. Always different color for the same style, or same color for different style, or different at all. I'm glad that now they choose what they like, and never think that they have to always wear the same. Sounds like a little unimportant thing, but it is to me. I see most twins wear 'uniforms' until they are grown up. I'm not saying that it is wrong, but it is just not how I wanted my twins to be.
Yes I can not deny there is a special bond between them, tied tighter than to their sister. It is so normal I guess. They've been sleeping in the same 'bed' since they were zygots....
twin bed don't work for them
couple nights after
What I talked about in Part 1 were all about technical things, which basically means, taking care of twins requires twice energy than you need if you take care just one baby. And it's normal. I mean, there are two babies there, right? (I can not imagine the triplet or more...)
The hardest thing, that I never found in Ibit was, the fighting. Who would Ibit fight with? She was alone, she even wanted to share things with some one. Ar-Ir always fight over things, even a piece of leave. And they still do now. I guess it isn't about the things, it seems like fighting is a part of their games.
But in other side, they are not separable (is it a right word?). They always feel like something is missing when they can not see each other. And this is my biggest challenge, not to make them depend on each other too much. I made a progress, by succeeding put them in different classes at school. I'm thinking about putting them in different school, next year when they enroll elementary school. But it sounds so mean...
I spent much more private time with my eldest Ibit. Almost 24 hours a day everyday, until the twin were born. With the twin, I could no longer give them that much. I have to share my attention to three kids. This one is a regret I will never be able to pay: I ignored Ibit in Ar Ir's first 2 years, the boys took almost all my attention.
The other regret is, that I don't teach my twin as much thing as I gave Ibit in their age now. Ibit is like a star. She learned (and always wants to learn more) everything so quickly and amazingly. Ar Ir never asked me 'Ibu, I want to be able to read', or 'Ibu, teach me how to play keyboard'. All they do, and what they are interested in, is play and play. Is it because they are boys? Is it because they are twin who have always play together even since they couldn't move from their bed? Or is it because I don't have much time to spend with them?
Now that I'm a working mom, I have less time for my kids, and it makes things worse.
I know I'm not a perfect mother, I'm too far from that. And I might do mistakes raising my twins, but so far this is what I think is right. And this is one other reason why I made this blog (beside because I like to write and tell stories), and go blog walking to those mom's site who have twins. I want to learn more about having twin.
Raising twin is so different from single. I can feel it. But some things are indescribable. Tell me your experience...