Sunday, August 10, 2008

delapan

eight




Rasanya baru kemarin, sambil terbaring lelah memandangi sosok mungil merahmu, setelah 5 jam berjuang mengantarkanmu hadir di dunia ini. Keajaiban yang Allah berikan di pelukanku...
Felt like it was yesterday, I was so weak lying and staring to your tiny red body, after 5 hours struggling to bring you out to this world. A miracle Allah has given to me.

Masih jelas saat-saat kita berdua saja di rumah. Mengisi waktu sambil menunggu Bapak pulang kerja.Melihatmu tumbuh dari waktu ke waktu. Berguling, merangkak. berjalan, berkata-kata. Bermain, bernyanyi, tertawa, menangis.
I can still remember the days we spent together, waiting for Bapak to come home from work, I watched you grow up, time to time. Rolling, crawling, stepping, saying words. Playing, singing, laughing, crying.

Masih terngiang suara kecilmu, menyanyikan 'si kancil', "... ayo lekas di buru, jangan dibeli ampun...". Bukan tidak bisa bunyi 'r', tapi karena menurutmu begitulah kata-katanya.
I can still remember you sing with your little voice, with words that didn't come out right coz you were still so young.

Masih terasa pedih menungguimu berhari-hari di rumah sakit. Masih terasa gelisahku menenangkan gelisahmu dalam racau igau ketika demam tinggi memelukmu. Tidak, aku tak mau lagi melihatmu begitu. Aku lebih suka melihatmu tertawa, mendengarmu bernyanyi, menemanimu membaca, menungguimu menulis, menyimakmu bercerita...
I can still feel the pain, waiting for you lying in hospital bed for days. I can still feel my nervous to calm down you mumbling in fever. No, I don't want to see you like that again. I'd rather see you laughing, hear you singing, accompany you reading, beside you writing, listen to you telling...

Maafkan Ibu yang mengabaikanmu, di awal-awal kelahiran dua adikmu. Ibu tahu, betapa cemburunya kamu saat-saat itu. Berlari dan membanting pintu, kecewa karena Ibu menepikanmu. Dan Ibu tak bisa berbuat apa-apa untuk menghiburmu. Ibu tahu, tak akan bisa terulang lagi saat-saat itu untuk membayarnya. Tapi Ibu akan berusaha memberi yang kau butuhkan, saat ini dan seterusnya.
Forgive my ignorance in the first year of your brothers' existence. I understand how dissapointed you wre, but there was nothing I could do to make you feel better. I knew those time has gone and never come back, and I'll never be able to pay. But hear me saying, I'll do my best to give what you need, from now on.

Terima kasih karena telah menjadi anak manis yang mandiri dan mengalah. Kau tak tahu betapa itu sangat meringankan beban Ibu.
Thanks for being such a nice girl, who always stand on your own. You just have no idea how much it becomes a help for me.

Ibu tahu, tak pernah menjadi ibu yang cukup baik bagimu. Ibu hanya ingin menjadi temanmu. Melihatmu cemerlang dalam kesederhanaan dan kerendahan hatimu. Dewasa pikirmu dalam lincah tubuh mungilmu.
I knew, I've never been a good enough mother for you. I just want to be your friend. Watch your brightness in you simplicity. A mature girl in a little frisky body.

Selamat ulang tahun Mbak Ibit. Semoga menjadi anak salihah seperti yang selalu kau inginkan, dan Bapak Ibu harapkan. Tetaplah menjadi warna indah, dalam kehidupan...
Happy birthday Ibit, be a salihah girl, as you always wanted, as I and your Bapak always pray for. Keep being a wonderful color of our life...

10 comments:

forgetfulone said...

Happy birthday, Ibit. What a sweet girl you must be, the way your mom describes you. Her love for you is so real.

Rachel said...

happy birthday Ibit...what a sweet post mama!

angie said...

Happy Birthday to your Ibit. What a wonderful post.

Heather said...

Happy Birthday to your beautiful girl! I could relate so much to all the things you were saying about being her mother. Wonderful.

Are You Serious! said...

♥ What a wonderful post! Happy Birthday IBIT! :)

The Burp Cloth Babe said...

Happy Birthday Ibit. That post was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Evi said...

selamat ultah ya Mba Ibit :)
panjang umur, sehat , makin pinter dan berbakti pada ayah bunda

maaf telat.

wuih anakmu wes gadis Jeng...

Mama Shasa Shahira said...

Happy b'day Ibid.. May God bless u.. amien..

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

Happy Birthday Ibit! very nice post describing how mothers feel! You are both lucky to have each other.

ibit said...

terharu bacanya...hiks!