Monday, May 5, 2008

cuma enam menit

only six minutes

bukan salah mereka kalau mereka lahir cuma berjarak enam menit. mereka ngga minta begitu. tetap saja mereka adalah dua individu yang berbeda, dan menginginkan apa yang berhak mereka dapatkan.
it wasn't their fault, that they were born six minutes apart. they never asked for it. still they are two different individuals who want to be given what they deserve.

suatu hari aku mengajak mereka ke toko buku, dan meminta mereka memilih buku yang mereka suka. mereka memilih buku yang sama. kataku, "kenapa ngga ambil buku yang beda, nanti bisa gantian bacanya'. dan meraka ngga mau.
one day I brought them to a book store and ask them to pick one book they like. they both picked the same book. I said, 'why don't you pick different books, and read each other's when you finish with your own?. and they didn't want to.

aku selalu membelikan sesuatu di saat yang sama, meskipun barangnya tidak selalu sama. dan jika ada orang mau memberi sesuatu, aku bilang,' kalo mau ngasih dua, atau tidak sama sekali', karena aku ngga mau nanti ada rebutan setelah itu.
I always buy them things at the same time, although not always the same thing. and when somebody wants to give something, I always say, "give them both, or not at all" because I don't want to see fight over the gift after it.

ketika tiba waktunya sekolah, aku meminta pihak sekolah untuk memasukkan mereka ke kelas yang berbeda karena aku ingin mereka tumbuh, belajar dan bersosialisasi tanpa saling tergantung satu sama lain. hari-hari pertama berat banget, karena Ar selalu nyusul ke kelas Ir dan bilang mau sama Ir. gurunya hampir menyerah dan menyatukan mereka. tapi aku ngotot bilang jangan. alhamdulillah akhirnya mereka bisa melaluinya setelah sebulan, dan terima kasih pada bu guru karena telah begitu bersabar.
when it comes to schooling time, I asked the teacher to put them in different classes because I wanted them to grow, learn and socialize independently each other. first days was so hard cause Ar always run to Ir's class and said wanted to be with Ir. the teacher almost give up and put them together but I insist not to. alhamdulillah they finally could make it in a month, and I thank the teacher for their patience.

suatu hari ada permainan di sekolah, siapa yang menang akan dapat 'bintang'. Ar dapat, tapi Ir tidak. dia nangis hampir seharian dan mengatakan bahwa gurunya tidak adil karena Ar diberi bintang sedangkan dia tidak. aku berusaha sebisa mungkin membuatnya mengerti bahwa Ar berhak mendapatkannya, dan dia harus berusaha kalau ingin mendapatkannya. oh entahlah apa aku bisa membuat dia mengerti, paling tidak sudah kucoba.
once there was a game at school, and who won got a 'star'. Ar did, but Ir didn't. he cried almost all day long and said the teacher wasn't fair, because Ar got star and he didn't. I did may best to make him understand that Ar deserved it and he didn't. that if he wanted a reward he has to work hard for it. oh I don't know if he could understand it or not, at least I tried.

beberapa hari yang lalu aku pergi ke toko buku untuk membelikan mereka buku belajar baca. aku tanya Dan, "beli satu atau dua?". katanya,"satu. kamu kan ngga ngajarin mereka bareng-bareng. biar yang satu menyimak waktu yang lain belajar".
few days ago I and Dan went to a book store to buy them a book to help them lear to read. I asked Dan, "do we buy one or two?". he said, "buy one. you won't teach them both at the same time. let the one watch the other one learning".

aku diam sebentar lalu berkata.
"kalau mereka bukan anak kembar, dan lahir bukan hanya berjarak enam menit, apa mereka harus berbagi buku begitu?"
"tidak"
"menurutmu, bukankah mereka berhak mendapatkan yang sama"
"well, okay, beli dua"
I stood for a while, and then asked.
"if only they were not twin, and born not only six minutes apart, they wouldn't have to share books like this, would they?"
"no"
"don't you think they both deserve one book each?"
"well, okay, take two"

sebenarnya aku juga agak bingung tentang hal ini. aku tahu ada orang yang memperlakukan anak kembar mereka persis dalam segala hal, tapi ada juga yang melakukannya bener-bener berbeda. aku merasa nanggung di tengah-tengahnya dan seperti orang yang ragu. aku ingin anakku tumbuh sebagai diri mereka sendiri, tapi kadang aku masih melihat mereka sebagai satu kesatuan.
this is something quite confusing to me. I know people who treat their twins exactly the same. and some who treat them totally different way. I feel like I'm in between, and it sounds like a doubtful step. I want my twins two grow as what they want to be, but at the same time I still some times see them as one.

sebenarnya bagaimana aku harus memperlakukan mereka?
how should I treat them?

13 comments:

iway said...

aku setuju bahwa mereka adalah 2 individu yang berbeda meski dari telur yang sama

Evi said...

aduh Mba...aku ga punya anak kembar sih, jadi ga ngerti harus gimana memperlakukannya.
tapi tetangga punya anak kembar 2 pasang.
salah satunya kembar cowok cewek.

mlandhing said...

kalau aku kok milih melihat perkembangan mereka ya... kebutuhan mereka bagaimana.

kalau dengan dipisah mereka baik-baik saja, ya dipisah. tapi kalau dipisah membuat mereka merana, ya apaboleh buat.

meski demikian aku setuju kalau kita sebagai orangtua tetap harus memberikan ruang alternatif untuk mereka memilih. kan tugas kita memang itu: menunjukkan keragaman, namun memberikan keleluasaan.

Are You Serious! said...

♡ Since my twins are boy/girl I can't relate... However I do feel like if I get one child something then I should get one for the others... It's been really HARD potty training Olivia because she gets a little treat for using the potty and the twins don't understand why they don't get a treat and Olivia does! Such a hard thing! :)

carrie & troy keiser said...

I think each child needs to know they matter as much as another. We pretty much keep things even for the twins. With the others, I'm not sure I've been quite as fair. It's a hard thing as they know only having each other. We've been branching ours out, trying to teach them it's OK to be apart. I will send one or the other with Dad for an errand. It was really hard at first, but they are realizing that they are OK with out the other. Even boy/girl twins depend on and rely on that "twin bond". Here they almost always separate twins in school, I'm having a hard time with this only because I would like them to both have certain teachers... ones that I like and the other kids have had. I guess I will just have to wait and see how things play out, huh?! :)

carrie & troy keiser said...

PS I was going to let you know how cute I thought their pictures are, but I forgot... so I'm telling ya now! :)

Triplet Mama said...

I agree, I always get each of the kids a gift or a treat or whatever. I think this mention in my post wasn't clear enough. I only was aware that my girl had outgrown her sneakers, I didn't think the boys needed them just yet. But come to find out, they did. I didn't think twice then, to get them the new ones...
Your children are precious. And they have a sweet mommy!

Suzie said...

See I do write back. Wow twins. What hard work.

Kelli said...

I dont have twins but I was married before and we had his kids and her(my) kids, it was just as hard, trying to be the same for everyone. Same bad or good. It was hard. I feel for you.

SuperCoolMom said...

Even without twins, sometimes it's hard to be fair, and still give each child what they need.

Mama Shasa Shahira said...

aduh mbak.. kebayang deh serunya punya anak kembar.. tapi mbk, kebanyakan kalo anak kembar memang begitu yaa.. saling ketergantungan. Kalo aku jadi mbk sih gak aku pisahin biar aja mereka selalu sama2, kali aja dengan mereka sekelas malah memacu semangat untuk belajar.Namanya juga soulmate dari dalem perut.. hihihi..

Kelli said...

Do you guys have mothers day in your country? either way, Hope your feeling better and Happy Mothers Day to you. Miss your blogs

Kelli said...

how are you doing? hope fine. You have not blogged much since you were sick. Hope everything is ok.
Hugs