I follow behind my kids

that's Dan. and Ar, and Ir, and Ibit. I, followed them behind and took this picture, while riding my bike.
itu Dan. dan Ar. dan Ir. dan Ibit. aku, mengikuti mereka dari belakang dan mengambil gambar ini, sambil mengayuh sepedaku.

this is one of our favorite family activities beside swimming, riding bike to places near by. we could go at least 5km away, and back.
ini adalah salah satu aktivitas bersama favorit kami selain berenang, bersepeda yang deket-deket aja. kami bisa pergi sejauh 5 km, dan pulang

and this is how we usually do it. Dan will lead the way, the kids follow him behind, and I follow them, very behind.
dan begini biasanya kami melakukannya. Dan di depan, diikuti anak-anak, dan aku mengikuti mereka, paling belakang.

and I believe that's also how we should live our life. I believe that a man as a husband, and a father, should be the leader in a family. and the kids follow him. it doesn't matter if along the way my kids find their own way, as long as it is right and good for everyone, I will let them go that way. I will just follow them behind, or walk beside them, to make sure they won't take the wrong path.
dan begitu jugalah menurutku, bagaimana seharusnya kami menjalani hidup. aku percaya bahwa laki-laki sebagai suami dan ayah, harus menjadi pemimpin bagi keluarganya. anak-anak mengikutinya. tidak masalah jika di tengah jalan mereka menemukan jalan sendiri. selama itu benar dan baik untuk semua, aku akan biarkan mereka ambil jalan itu. aku hanya akan mengikuti dari belakang, atau berjalan di samping mereka, untuk memastikan bhawa mereka tidak akan mengambil jalur yang salah.

*****

for this weeks sundayscribblings prompt, follow

my bass drums hitters

my kids are small, compared to the kids of their ages. especially Ibit.
anak-anakku kecil, jika dibandingkan dengan teman-teman sebayanya.

when I knew that Ar and Ir had to hold the bass drums in their drum band group at school, I protested the teacher:
"my boys are small, maam. basses are way too heavy for them"
waktu aku tahu bahwa Ar dan Ir memegang drum bass di grup drum band sekolah, aku protes ke bu guru:
"anak-anak saya itu kecil bu guru. bass itu kan besar, berat"

but this was what they said:
"bass is unique. it has it own beat, not the same with other small drums. it requires a kid with special abilities to play it. and your boys have it"
tapi ini jawabnya:
"bass itu beda. dia punya beat khusus, tidak sama dengan drum-drum kecil. butuh anak dengan ketrampilan khusus untuk bisa memainkannya. Ar Ir yang bisa"

wow.
wow.
wow.

so I totally understood when, at the middle of their show, Ir refused to continue playing.
"I'm tired. this is heavy"
jadi aku maklum banget waktu di tengah pentas Ir mogok main.
"aku capek, berat"

at home, I tried to cheer him up and keep him enthusiast. as what I heard from the teachers, some kids couldn't join the group and their parents complained. I told Ir about that, and how lucky he was to be able to join the band. but this is what he had to say:
"let them hit the bass. I quit"
di rumah, aku mencoba menyemangati dia lagi. seperti kata bu guru, beberapa anak tidak bisa ikut bergabung di grup, dan orang tua mereka sempat protes. aku ceritakan itu ke Ir, dan betapa beruntungnya dia karena bisa ikut kelompok drum band. tapi ini jawabnya:
"ya suruh mereka aja yang mukul bassnya. aku ngga mau lagi"

wow.
wow.
wow.



Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I speak trilingual, do you believe it?

aku bicara tiga bahasa, percaya ngga?

for this weeks sundayscribblings prompt: language

click my blog tittle and scroll down slightly, or you may want to read my post one by one. like doing a psycho test, you'll find a pattern...
klik judul blogku lalu scroll down pelan-pelan, atau mungkin mau baca dengan teliti satu per satu. seperti ketika mengerjakan psycho test, kamu akan nemu sebuah pola.

yup I write bilingually. in English and Bahasa Indonesia. I know my English is not so fluent. my grammar is far from perfect. I never took an English course. I only learned it at school, and listen to or read some "English" I can see or hear around me.
yup. aku menulis dalam dua bahasa. Inggris dan Indonesia. aku tahu sih bahasa Inggrisku ngga sempurna. lha gimana, aku memang ngga pernah kursus bahasa inggris. belajar cuma waktu di sekolah, ditambah baca dan mendengarkan apa yang bisa dilihat dan didengar di sekitar..

do I care at all? oh I did, long ago. but people, from Indonesia and even the English native speakers said that my English, with some mistakes here and there, is understandable. *wow, I thought 'understandable' wasn't a word, but my spelling checker didn't underline it red, so it is a word...*
memangnya aku peduli? dulu, iya. tapi kata orang-orang, bahkan yang native speaker bahasa Inggris, katanya bahasa Inggrisku walaupun salah di sana-sini tapi bisa dimengerti.

did I make a mistake writing my post tittle? no. I do speak trilingual. my third, which is actually the first language I learn in my life, is Javanese.
eh, apa aku salah nulis judul? engga. aku memang bisa bicara tiga bahasa. yang ketiga, adalah justru bahasa yang pertama kali kukenal dalam hidupku: bahasa Jawa

there are hundreds (or may be even thousands?) origin languages of hundreds (and again, may be thousands) tribe in Indonesia. Javanese is only one of those. I know some people don't speak traditional languages any more. for many reasons. some because they married people from different tribe with different language. some, married people from the same tribe with the same language, but live in community of vary tribes. so it will be easier for them and children to communicate each other with Bahasa Indonesia. some even speak English daily for many reasons too.
ada ratusan (atau mungkin ribuan) bahasa asli di Indonesia, yang dimiliki oleh ratusan (lagi-lagi, mungkin malah ribuan) suku. Jawa cuma salah satu. aku tahu sekarang banyak yang lebih memilh bicara Bahasa Indonesia. karena perkawinan antar suku, atau karena lingkungannya memang bhinneka tunggal ika, jadi lebih mudah memakai bahasa Indonesia untuk berkomunikasi satu sama lain. malah ada yang sudah pakai bahasa Inggris untuk percakapan sehari-hari.

I speak Javanese and Indonesia to my children. but they prefer to speak Indonesia more. what can I say, people around us, their friends and teachers, mostly speak Indonesia.
aku bicara bahasa Jawa dan Indonesia kepada anak-anakku. tapi sepertinya mereka lebih suka ngomong bahasa Indonesia. mau gimana lagi. sekitar mereka hampir semua memakai bahasa itu.

how dare I call my self trilingual when I don't speak English daily! oh pardon. I do, some times, with some friends and Dan *but Dan always replies in Javanese... he understands but can not speak it*. and off course I speak English a lot, here in my blog. enjoy....
pede banget aku menyebut diri bicara tiga bahasa! oh maaf. paling tidak aku suka ngomong Inggris juga sedikit-sedikit dengan teman dan Dan *meskipun Dan selalu nyautnya malah pake bahasa Jawa*. dan lihat saja, aku bicara bahasa Inggris banyak, di sini, si blogku.

Ibit's special time

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

no... kami tidak pergi ke kafe yang sama dengan yang didatangi Ar atau Ir. kami mengajak Ibit pergi ke tempat yang tidak dia bayangkan. kejutan, tentu saja..
no, we didn't go to the same cafe where Ar and Ir went to. we took her somewhere else she didn't imagine. it sure was a surprise

menurut Dan, sepeda Ibit sudah kekecilan.
Dan thought this bike was too small for Ibit now.

jadi kami pergi ke toko sepeda dan membiarkan Ibit memilih sepeda yang sesuai dengan ukurannya, (dan dompet bapaknya...)
so we went to a bike shop and let her choose a bike that would fit her (and her dad's wallet..)

itu dia habis main sepeda keliling blok tadi sore...
there she is riding her new buddy around the block this evening :D

it's just fine without Ar

jadi....
so...

semalam tiba giliran Ir untuk diajak pergi. ternyata suasananya beda banget dengan ketika Ar yang diajak pergi.
last night was Ir's turn. it was totatlly different with when Ar's turn.

di perjalanan anaknya enjoy aja. menikmati duduk dari satu sisi jendela ke sisi yang lain. merasa bebas, karena biasaya bertiga rebutan siapa yang mau duduk deket jendela.
dia minta diajak ke warung yang sama dengan waktu Ar diajak dulu. sampai di sana dengan mantabnya dia pesen jus jeruk.
along the way he enjoyed moving from side to side on the back seat. my kids usually fight over the seat next to the window.
he asked us to go to the same cafe we weht with Ar. he sat and no-doubtfully ordered for orange juice

memang tidak seribut kalau berdua Ar, tapi dia jalan-jalan muter muter warung. nemu tempat tusuk gigi yang lucu, dan itu yang dia pakai mainan selama di situ.
berdiri di jendela dan melihat keluar, 'oh... itu kolam yang ada ikannya itu kan?'
pergi pipis sendiri ke toilet. makan kentangnya. santai banget.
'enak ga dik pergi ga ngajak Ar?'
'enak aja...'
not as noisy as if Ar was with him, but he walked around the cafe. found a funny toothpick case, and that was he was busy with all the time.
he stood up next to a window and looked out side. 'oh... that's the pool with the fish in, isn't it?'
he want to the toilet by himself, and enjoyed his fries
'is it great to go without Ar?'
'it's just fine...'

waktu pulang Ar juga sudah tidur. Ir langsung cuci kaki, gosok gigi, lalu datang ke kamarku, 'cium'. dan pergi tidur.
when we got him Ar was also already asleep. Ir washed his hand and feet, brushed his teeth, come to me for a 'kiss', and off to bed.

aku jadi ingat, memang dulu waktu minggu-minggu pertama masuk sekolah, selalu Ar yang nyusul Ir di kelasnya, dan bukan sebaliknya. aku senang, paling tidak salah satu dari mereka tidak terlalu tergantung pada yang lain...
this remain me to the fact, that on their first days schooling, it was Ar who always looked for Ir and went to his class. Ir never did. I'm glad. at least one of them don't depend too much to the other.

salah satu hal lagi yang membuat mereka menjadi 'cermin'
one more fact about them as mirrors...

***********************************************

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

it's not great without Ir...

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

kalau kau punya seseorang, yang telah bersamamu sejak kau bahkan masih berbentuk zygot, bisakah kau bayangkan bagaimana berartinya dia buatmu?
if you had someone, who has been with you since you were a zygote, how much he/she would mean to you?

dia jadi orang terakhir yang kau lihat sebelum tidur. orang pertama yang kau temukan ketika bangun. waktu berumur dua tahun, kau bahkan mengira bayanganmu di cermin adalah dia. dia jadi temanmu bicara sejak kau bisa saling melihat, saling bersuara. dia adalah teman bermainmu yang kau bawa dari rahim ibumu.
he/she is the last one you see before sleep at night. the first you see when you wake up int the morning. even when you were two years old, you thought the reflection in the mirror was him/her. he/she has becamoe the one you talked to since the time you both could see each other, and hear each other's voice. he/she is a company you brought from your mother's uterus.

aku sih merasa sudah berusaha menciptakan perbedaan. dari hal yang paling mendasar (umum?) tentang anak kembar: baju. bahkan sejak bayi, sejak mereka belum peduli apa yang mereka kenakan, aku membelikan baju yang berbeda. tidak pernah benar-benar sama. beda warna sama bentuk, atau sama warna beda bentuk. atau beda sama sekali.
I feel I have done my best creating differences. from the basic (general) thing about twin: clothes. even since they were babies, when they didn't even care what they wore, I gave them different clothes. never exactly the same.

toh kembarku masih saja seperti mimi lan mintuna. ke mana- mana berdua. kalau kumpul berantem, tapi kalau pisah nyari. dibeliin dua kasur, akhirnya cuma satu juga yang kepake.
but still my twin boys are like two-in-one. they go everywhere together. they some times fight but can not stand to be away from each other. I bought them two beds, but they use only one.

jadi kemarin aku dan Danang bikin percobaan. mengajak pergi Ar saja, meninggalkan Ir dan Ibit di rumah. dengan perjanjian, akan digilir di antara mereka siapa yang diajak, satu satu saja. Ibit sempat protes waktu kubilang dia dapat giliran terakhir. tapi ketika kujelaskan proyek apa yang sedang kami kerjakan, dia mengerti (anak manis...)
so Dan and I made an experiment few days ago. we took Ar to go with us and left Ir and Ibit at home. with an agreement, every one will get their turn to go with us next coming days. Ibit protested for being the last turn. but when I explained why we are doing this, she totally understood (what a sweet girl..)

awalnya Ar sangat antusias, membayangkan bersenang-senang diajak pergi sendirian. tapi...
mobil baru berjalan kira-kira seratus meter, dia mendekat ke depan dan bertanya.
at the beginning, Ar was so excited and imagined of how fun to go with us, alone. but... only about 300 yards away from our house, he moved closer to us and asked:

Ar: kenapa Ir tidak diajak?
Dan: lain kali, gantian
Ar: kasihan Ir
Dan: Ir ngga papa kok, dia mau pergi giliran kedua minggu depan
mata Ar berkaca-kaca
aku: bukannya enak diajak pergi?
Ar: ngga enak kalau ngga ada Ir...

Ar: why do we have to leave Ir at home?
Dan: his turn will come
Ar: poor Ir
Dan: Ir is okay. he will go with us next week
Ar's eyes were watering
me: isn't it great to go with us, alone?
Ar: it's not great without Ir

kami bukan pergi ke mana-mana. cuma ke warung minum es kelapa muda dan jus. Ar tidak mau memesan apa-apa. diam menggeletak di bangku. 'aku mau pulang...'
tapi kami menahan untuk beberapa saat. ya... paling tidak sampai habis minuman yang kami pesan. kalau ada Ir, mereka tidak akan mungkin duduk diam. lari, kejar-kejaran, guling-gulingan...
we didn't go nowhere special. only to a cafe for some drinks and juice. Ar didn't order anything. he just lied down on the couch and said, 'I want to go home..'
but we held him for a while, at least until we finish our drinks. when we had Ir with us, they wouldn't be able to sit. they would run here and there chasing, rolling...

it's not great without Ir...

Ar mencoba melakukan hal yang sama, sendiri. kelihatannya bosan banget dan sama sekali ngga asik. lalu dia melihat sesuatu dan spontan berteriak' Ir! lihat!'. tapi sadar yang dipanggil tidak ada. dan dia meringkuk di sampingku.
Ar tried to do the same, alone. but it seemed boring and he couldn't enjoy it at all. then he saw something and yelled, 'Ir, look!'. but he realized that the one he called wasn't there. he came to me and cuddled up beside me.

'kamu mau telpon Ir?' tanyaku. dia mengangguk. ya Tuhan, baru satu jam kurang mereka terpisah, kelihatannya tersiksa banget... setelah menelpon, wajahnya sedikit dihiasi senyum. ketika tau mau pulang, matanya berbinar-binar.
'do you want to call Ir?' I asked. he nodded. oh my God, it was less than one hour and he looked so horrible. after the call, he could smile a little. when it was time to go home, his eyes were shining...

sampai di rumah, Ir sudah tidur. Ar sendiri tidak bisa langsung tidur dengan masih memakai baju 'pergi'. sengantuk apa pun dia akan ganti dengan baju rumah yang udah kumel dan bolong-bolong tapi adem. dia berdiri di samping kasur sambil memakai bajunya. memandangi 'cermin'-nya yang sudah lelap, sambil berkaca-kaca.
when we got home, Ir was already asleep. Ar change his clothes next to the bed and staring at his sleeping sound mirror, with eyes watering...

huh...
aku ingin tahu bagaimana kalau tiba giliran Ir yang nanti diajak pergi...
huh...
I wonder how is it gonna be when Ir's turn come...

Ibit juga menulis tentang ini di blognya
Ibit also wrote about this on her blog.