Finger Activity

Sering lihat sekumpulan orang yang duduk semeja tapi sibuk sendiri-sendiri dengan gadgetnya? Banget, pasti.

Kemarin kami pergi makan malam di sebuah warung penyetan. Usai memesan, aku meminta HP yang dipegang Dan, Ibit, Ar, dan Ir, lalu menumpuknya di tengah meja, juga HP-ku. Kebiasaan sambil menunggu pesanan datang, Dan akan menghidupkan personal hotspot di HPnya, lalu anak-anak mulai connect dan main game...

"Siapa yang pegang HP sebelum acara makan selesai harus bayar tagihannya," kataku.

Semua mengerang.

"Jadi bengong ini kita nunggu pesanannya datang..." kata Ibit.

Lalu semua sibuk mencari kesibukan jari. Ir mengambil tusuk gigi dan memutar-mutarnya di meja. Ar memain-mainkan lembaran tisu. Dan mengetuk-ngetuk meja dengan jari. Ibit memilin-milin ujung kudung. Lucu.

Akhirnya aku ajak mereka main tebak kata. Setiap orang mengulurkan jari ke tengah meja, lalu akan diurutkan abjad mulai A B C hingga sejumlah jari yang dijulurkan. Setiap orang harus menyebutkan satu nama binatang yang dimulai dengan huruf di jari mana abjad terakhir jatuh. Siapa yang tidak berhasil menebak dijitak. Pelan tapi :D

Huruf pertama yang muncul adalah J. Jerapah. Dan tidak ada lagi. Lalu diulang dan muncul huruf S. Sapi, singa, siamang, serigala...

Setelah beberapa huruf, akhirnya pesanan datang. Dan HP aman di tumpukan sampai semua benar-benar selesai makan.

"Jadi sekarang siapa yang bayar?" tanya Ir.

"Ibu. Jadi sebenarnya, kalau mau, Ibu pegang HP dari tadi juga boleh, hehehe..."

***

Mungkin memang harus dibiasakan mencari aktivitas yang membuat kita bisa berinteraksi dengan orang-orang di dekat kita, ketimbang sibuk dengan gadget sendiri-sendiri...

bottles

this is to make sure that every one gets the same number of bottled milk.

14

we make mistakes, then we regret
we can forgive, but can not forget
still we learn, some things don't deserve our sacrifaction.

What happen to Cinderella and the Prince after the wedding? The fairy tale said the got married and live happily ever after. I hope they do.

Apa yang terjadi pada Cinderella dan Pangeran setelah pesta pernikahan? Kata dongeng, mereka menikah dan hidup bahagia selamanya. Semoga.

'Coz in live I find, marriage is way more than live happily ever after. It is a compromizing ever after. You change. Your spouse changes. Life changes. And after since, life is a never ending adaption. Once you may find it hard, and you make mistakes. Some times you don't realize it at all. Some times you realize it is wrong and try to make it right. But there are times you realize it and choose to ignore...

Karena dalam hidup aku mendapati pernikahan lebih dari sekedar hidup bahagia selamanya. Tapi kompromi tiada habisnya. Kau berubah. Pasanganmu berubah. Hidup berubah. Dan sejak itu, hidup adalah adaptasi tak berkesudahan. Sekali waktu kau merasa berat, dan berbuat kesalahan. Kadang kau tidak  menyadarinya. Kadang kau menyadari itu salah dan ingin memperbaiki. Tapi ada juga saat kau memilih tidak peduli meski sadar itu salah...

As I walk the miles, I know I've made lots of mistakes. The small ones. The biggest one. But sure I wouldn't call this gorgeous young lady a mistake...

Menempuh perjalanan sejauh ini, aku tahu aku banyak berbuat kesalahan. Yang kecil. Yang besar. Tapi jelas aku tidak akan menyebut gadis istimewa ini kesalahan...

...neither these silly boys we often call possums...

...juga dua cowok konyol yang sering kami panggil possums ini...

...neither this lovely boy I can't live without.

...atau si kecil yang aku tidak bisa hidup tanpanya.

And therefore it would be a mistake to call the years we've passed a mistake.

Dan karenanya, adalah kesalahan menganggap tahun-tahun yang kami lalui sebagai kesalahan.

Either we are the drivers, or the ride. One thing is sure, we are the ones to carry on the children to a better life. And so, we should never give up compromizing and adapting each other through all changes along the way... 

Kami supirnya, atau mungkin kendaraannya. Yang jelas, kamilah yang harus mengantar mereka menyambut kehidupan yang lebih baik. Dan untuk itu, tidak sepantasnya kami menyerah untuk tetap berkompromi dan saling beradaptasi menghadapi semua perubahan di sepanjang jalan...

Hope we will always be strong. 

Semoga kami bisa tetap bertahan.


=========================================================
Kisah pernikahan ini diikutsertakan pada Giveaway 10th Wedding Anniversary by Heart of Mine

The Princess Ever

You have always been the princess of my heart. Since the day you were born, now, and I know, forever will be.

Kau  adalah putri di hatiku, sejak lahir, sekarang, dan kutahu selamanya.

I can write kilometers of paper about you. Too much to tell. Little Ibit was a tough one, like the prayer in her name, Tsabitah. You always insisted to do things your self since you were about 2 years old. You would ask me to put off the shoes I already put on your feet, and then wore them (again) by your self.

Aku bisa menuliskan ribuan kilometer kertas panjangnya tentangmu. Terlalu banyak untuk diceritakan. Ibit adalah pribadi teguh, seperti doa yang terkandung di dalam namamu,, Tsabitah. Kau selalu ingin mengerjakan segala hal sendiri sejak umur 2 tahun. Kau akan minta aku melepas sepatu yang baru saja kupakaikan di kakimu, untuk kemudian kaupakai (lagi) sendiri.

Every time I remember, 7 old months Ibit in the hospital bed, I can't help my self not to cry. You were so small and weak. And I was a young mother with tons of worries burdened.

Setiap kali aku mengingat, Ibit 7 bulan terbaring di rumah sakit, aku tidak bisa menahan tangis. Kau begitu kecil dan lemah. Dan aku waktu itu, ibu muda yang penuh kekhawatiran.

I will never forget a conversation we had when you were 5. You were telling about a friend who was so beautiful and clever. 'Her skin is white,  not black like mine.'

I told you that it is more important to be a nice person than a beautiful one.

'Yeah, but people will like you more when you are nice and beautiful as well'.

I was so speechless. I didn't know what to say, until you said, 'How ever I am thankful that my face is normal. I have eyes to see, lips to speak with, and nose to breathe with. I don't have acnes that would make me look ugly...'

Aku tidak akan lupa suatu percakapan ketika kau berusia 5 tahun. kau bercerita tentang seorang teman yang cantik dan pintar. 'Kulitnya putih, tidak hitam sepertiku.'

Aku katakan padamu, lebih penting menjadi orang yang baik ketimbang orang cantik.

'Yeah, tapi orang akan lebih gampang suka kalau kamu baik hati dan juga cantik...'

Aku bingung harus ngomong apa. Lalu kau berkata lagi, 'Tapi aku tetap bersyukur punya wajah yang lengkap. Aku punya mata untuk melihat, bibir untuk bicara, hidung untuk bernapas. Wajahku tidak jerawatan, kalau jerawatan itu jadi jelek...'

I am one of those who agree not to  push children to read before elementary school. But you asked to learn to read when you were 4, I taught you as best as I could and you learned easily. As time goes by, I can see how you love music as much as I do. With an old keyboard my sister gave me, and with my limited ability in playing music I taught her, you were so confident standing on kindergarten year end stage, play the keyboard while singing. 

Aku termasuk yang setuju untuk tidak memaksa anak belajar membaca sebelum masuk SD. Tapi kau minta sendiri ketika umurmu 4 tahun. Aku mengajari sebisanya, dan kau belajar cepat. Seiring waktu, aku bisa melihat betapa kau suka musik seperti aku. Dengan kibod tua pemberian Budhemu, dan pelajaran dari kemampuan seadanya yang kumiliki, kau penuh percaya diri bermain kibod sambil bernyanyi di panggung akhirussanah TK.

Some times I feel, it was me who directed you to do things you do now. You like drawing. You love singing. You learned to play piano and guitar. Those all are 'me'. Well off course not the piano and guitar. My parents were to poor to buy musical instruments. That's why I feel, it was me who wanted you to play musics, a revenge to my unreached childhood dream. But if so, wouldn't I need to push you to? Seem I never felt so. You always look to do that gladly.

Kadang aku merasa, aku yang mengarahkanmu untuk melakukan hal-hal yang dia lakukan sekarang. Kau suka menggambar. Kau suka menyanyi. Kau belajar main piano dan gitar. Semua itu aku banget. Well, tentu saja selain piano. Orang tuaku dulu terlalu miskin untuk bisa beli alat musik. Itu sebab aku merasa, aku yang menginginkanmu bermain musik, sebagai pelampiasan mimpi masa kecilku. Tapi jika memang begitu, bukankah aku harus memaksamu? Nyatanya, kau tidak pernah merasa terpaksa. Semua kau lakukan dengan senang hati.

Some people think mommies want to make their children trophies for them selves by making their kids trophy gainer. Some may think I am one of those. But you know I'm not, I only offer you and you brothers competition or contest you want and enjoy to join. Remember later in your last year in elementary school, you got bored of competition and contest, and I let you quit. So I would just tell how gorgeous you are in my eyes. You are miracle handed to me. You always been special in your own way. Whatever you have achieved are all yours, and all I can do is support you as best as I can.

Sebagian orang berpikir, ada ibu yang menjadikan anak mereka piala buat diri mereka, dengan menjadikan anak mesin penambang piala. Barangkali ada yang menyangka aku adalah salah satunya. Tapi kau tahu, aku hanya menawarkan setiap kali ada lomba, barangkali kau atau adikmu ingin ikut lomba yang kalian sukai. Kau ingat di tahun terakhir SD, kau mulai bosan mengikuti lomba dan berhenti sama sekali. Kubiarkan. Jadi kukatakan saja bagaimana kau begitu istimewa di mataku. Kau keajaiban yang diletakkan di tanganku. Kau selalu menjadi istimewa dengan caramu sendiri. Apapun yang kau raih adalah milikmu,, aku hanya mendukung sebisanya.

Now as you are a teen, I can see you growing outside and inside. You always have your own reasons in making decisions, and I respect that. You make your own choices and I let you have that. We discuss things and I always try not to tell you to do things you don't feel comfortable with.

Sekarang Ibit sudah remaja. Aku melihat kau menjadi dewasa luar dalam. Kau selalu punya alasan untuk setiap keputusan, dan aku menghargainya. Kau membuat sendiri setiap pilihan. Kita berdiskusi tentang banyak hal, dan aku berusaha tidak memaksamu melakukan hal-hal yang tidak nyaman bagimu..

Thank you for understanding all minus things in me as a mother. Some times I think it is me who has to learn about life from you. Thank you for being my friend and hope you will always be. 

Terima kasih, kau selalu memahami semua kekuranganku sebagai ibu. Kadang aku pikir, aku yang harus banyak belajar tentang hidup darimu. Terima kasih sudah menjadi temanku, semoga selamanya begitu.

New Adventure for Dek Ai'

These few last weeks have been so busy for Dek Ai'. He, as the therapist suggested, is now going to a play group. I brought the recommendation from the psycholog we've seen couple months ago.

Minggu-minggu terakhir ini jadi sibuk buat Dek Ai'. Seperti disarankan terapisnya, bulan ini Dek Ai' mulai masuk play group. Aku membawa surat rekomendasi dari psikolog yang sudah kami temui dua bulan sebelumnya.

There were two grades of play group in the school Dek Ai' is rolling in. For ages 2-3 and 3-4. As I realize that Dek Ai's ability is below the rate, I told the teacher to just put Dek Ai' in the first grade. But she said, it's okay to let Dek Ai' join friends of his age. We will see the progress to see what to do next.

Ada dua tingkat play group di sekolah Dek Ai' ini. Untuk usia 2-3 tahun dan untuk usia 3-4 tahun. Menyadari kemampuan mental maupun motorik Dek Ai' yang  masih di bawah rata-rata usianya, aku bilang ke gurunya untuk dimasukkan ke usia 2-3 tahun saja. Tapi kata Bu Guru, dia akan membiarkan Dek Ai' bergabung dengan teman-teman seusianya. Nanti akan dilihat perkembangannya untuk menentukan langkah selanjutnya.

I could only accompany him on the first day, and let the nanny do the next. Still I always ask how things go in the school. Dek Ai' usually cries the first time he enters the class. He wants nanny to get in too but off course she can't. But then things go just fine. Dek Ai' enjoys playing with friends and teachers. He still needs to adapt with the new environment, and learn to share things with his friends.

Aku hanya bisa menemani di hari pertama, dan selanjutnya Embak yang menemani. Meskipun begitu aku selalu menanyakan bagaimana keadaannya. Biasanya Dek Ai' menangis ketika memasuki kelas, minta Embak ikut masuk. Tentu saja tidak boleh. Tapi lama-kelamaan Dek Ai' akan mulai bergabung dengan teman-temannya. Dia masih perlu beradaptasi dengan suasana baru, dan belajar berbagi banyak hal.

The other day, I and Dan took Dek Ai' to see an orthopedic doctor. We consulted about his flat feet. My sister said he might need a special shoe that would correct the error. But doctor said he was fine. His flat feet are still in the tolerable range. Slowly his feet will find the best position, though it wouldn't be 100% normal. Flat feet will make him easy to get tired when he walks for a long time. But we can reduce that by giving him an inner sole inside his shoes. He also suggested to give Dek Ai' boots that cover his ankle, and tighten the shoes. That would help him to straighten the ankle.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, aku dan Dan membawa Dek Ai' ke dokter ortopedi untuk berkonsultasi tentang kakinya yang flat. Kata kakakku, flat Dek Ai' parah, dan mungkin butuh sepatu khusus untuk memperbaikinya. Tapi kata dokternya, flat di kaki Dek Ai' masih dalam batas toleransi. Seiring usia, kakinya akan menemukan posisi terbaik meskipun tidak bisa 100% normal. Kaki flat akan lebih mudah capek jika berjalan jauh. Tapi hal itu bisa dikurangi dengan menambahkan insole khusus di dalam sepatunya. Dokter hanya  menyarankan untuk memberi Dek Ai' sepatu boots menutup mata kaki, dan diketatkan saat memakainya. Itu akan membantu dia meluruskan pergelangan kakinya yang agak bengkok karena flatnya.

So two more worries passed. More to come to face to soon pass too...

Dua kekhawatiran terlewati. Akan ada banyak kekhawatiran datang dan harus dihadapi, untuk kemudian dilewati juga...

Rules

Dek Ai' never let me put the toy cars in groups by colors, which was the best way I taught his older brothers about colors. 

Dek Ai' has his own rules putting the cars in groups. That big red van with that the yellow sporty one. The red, green and yellow small ones with other small cars. And those last four in a row.

Can you see the rules for the last four? They are various in shapes and colors. So what the similarity? They were bought in one set. Yes he remembers that.

He still have one other group of buses and train, and a group of big sedans. He only plays one group at a time.

You may wonder why I pour him with so many toy cars. Well you bet. I pour him with things much more than I gave to his siblings. Not because I love him more than the others. I love them all the same. It's just that Dek Ai' needs more specific  stimulants to learn things. And as I still  haven't found that specific thing, all I can do is give him as much as I can.

I hope that will work.

what flows down

Without knowing where I got my senses from, I enjoy music like I breathe. There was nobody to teach me to play any music instrument. But my father knew there was music in me. So he borrowed a recorder from the school where he taught. I just read the instructions and made it to play some simple songs. I wanted to have a guitar but we didn't have enough money to buy one.

Mean while, as a painting teacher, Father taught me how to paint. He never told me much. He just told me to read 'how to paint' book series and give some comments when he thought needed. 

I lived with water color, paper, and brushes. Colors were my friends. The colors in my palette weren't red and yellow and green and blue. I was familiar with cobalt blue, light yellow, lemon yellow, burnt umber, burnt sienna. I mixed them to create more colors on the paper, and be a painting.

Later when I went to college, my older sister bought me a guitar with her first salary. It was definitely a dream come true. So I bought a cheap book of how to play guitar, and started to learn to play. That's how I learned, with some lessons I got from some friends.

I kept painting during college. Father gave me some brushes and paints to work with. 

When I finally got married and birthed, I got no time to do either painting or playing music. I sold my guitar, and gave my painting tools to a boy lived next door.

In the middle of 2009, I bought a guitar. It was supposed to be for my kids. I had a music teacher to come once a week to teach them. Turned out I couldn't help my self. I strummed again. 

A couple years ago I attended a friend's painting exhibition. The smell of the oil paint struck into my nose. Right then I called my father. I want to paint again.

***

This evening when I got home, Ar asked me, "Ibu, will you teach us to paint?"

I was so tired but I said yes. Yes dear off course I will. So they prepared everything and we started to work. It has been more than 12 years since the last time I held my brush. I opened the books again, read the tutorials again, and together learn to paint (again) with Ar and Ir.

While waiting for the basic colors to dry, I saw Ibit learning to play guitar. Thing she has been doing for last couple months. She refused to learn to play guitar before, and chose piano as her fingers were still to small to tick the strings in frets. But she can do it now, and the progress was quite well. I gave her my book and told her a little theory I learned.

I may be not a good musician, neither a painter. But I have learned both as the meal for my soul. I am so thin in theory, I practiced naturally. 

I am so happy that my kids have found the same need in them. And I, with my limited knowledge and skill, am so happy to share what I know with them.

I never hope they will be a great musician nor painter. Just knowing how they live with arts, has filled my heart. They will be real human, the complete ones.