(my) fear

1. I used to keep him away from crowd. crowd stresses him. and handling his tantrum in a crowd stresses me.
2. he doesn't like restaurant or any public meal places. he doesn't like to eat in public places. he would hide under a table. or walked away and stand in a corner. or worse: tantrum.
so I've been such a coward, fear to the stress, always chose to leave him at home with Nanny of I had to attend an event.
.
I can just keep him away from those discomfort. but that's a little bit inconvenience. and I thought it's another battle I should fight. so I started to bring him to event with few people, less noise. always keep an eye and notice when he starts to feel uncomfortable, time to get out.
he enjoys mall because there are many 'attractions'. colors and lamps.
he doesn't like loud sounds but, he enjoys music. he can stay for dew songs and gives applause after every song.
the key is building comfort zone in the middle of un comforts.
.
he's my hero today.
we attended a wedding party just both him and me. we started the trip with a little battle. he wanted to stay at home and play PS. he wanted me to stay at home too. then he let me go and he would stay. then he wanted to go with me. or play PS at home. or go with me. or stay at home. a little battle inside him that blew out. the tantrum still went on until about 20 minutes in the car as we were going out.
but it turned out great. he liked walking around and adore the decorations. he enjoyed the music. and, didn't refuse to eat.
.
fear will always be fear until
you face it.