baby and daddy

I always hope there is a strong tie between fathers and sons. as strong as the ties I have built between me and my children, years before I go back to working world. it is sad to find that we spend most of our time working then being with our family. but however, I keep trying to optimize the family time we have.

Dan works six days a week, from 08.00 am to whenever he needs to go home. no, it doesn't mean he can go home any time he wants. it means he can only go home when the work is done, and it can be anytime, late, over the working hours.

I, and my children, some times protest his in-existence. spending more time out there than being with family. he goes out every morning, at the same time my children go to school. he come home at night, often when my children are all already go to bed.

I have made some conditions to make Dan 'have to' interact with the children. for example, I used to give some money to my children every Monday. now I make Dan do it. some times he forgot and just goes to work like that. so my children ask me for the money. and I said, "that's Bapak's part. you ask him."

but with baby Ai', I can not do that. baby Ai' still don't know any thing about money :D

I still want my baby to interact with Dan. so some times I pushed Dan to sit down and put Ai' on his arms. not because I have to do something else, or because I'm tired carrying him. I just want him to be with his father.

well I hope it'll work. and as the baby grows up, I need to find more ways for us to keep connected each other...

wish me a happy birthday and more...

... coz I don't want to be happy on my birthday, but then sad tomorrow and the next days...



GOD, I don't want a lot for my birthday. YOU've given me more than I've ever asked for, and I am always grateful for that.
but... may be YOU can have some one to send me a Blackberry...




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ten

aku tahu kamu bangga. sekarang umurmu sudah dua angka.
I know you proud of you two digits age

tahukah kau, nak? kau sekarang hampir remaja, dan Ibu makin terpesona. seperti selalu, sejak semula. kedewasaan, kemandirian, imajinasi, talenta, mimpi, kemauan -- kau punya segalanya. dan aku hanya bisa berusaha untuk selalu membuka kesempatan.
but do you know, baby? you are about to leave 'kid' and became 'teen', and you amaze me more. like always, from the beginning. maturity, independence, imagination, talents, dreams, wishes - you've got everything. and I can only try to keep the opportunities open

tahukah kau, nak? hari ke hari semakin aku harus belajar padamu. tentang menerima kenyataan. tentang menghadapi kekecewaan. tentang keteguhan pendirian.
do you know, my dear? day to day I realize I must learn more from you. about accepting the facts. about facing disappointment. concerning the establishment of persistance

tahukah kau, nak? kadang aku merasa, aku lah anakmu, dan kau ibuku.
do you know, honey? some times I feel, I am your daughter, and you are my mother.

selamat ulang tahun, sayang. tetaplah menjadi pribadi istimewa, semakin.
happy birthday, sweetheart. keep yourself being a special one, and more.

a common thing become less special

this a text of one macapat song (Javanese traditional singing) in a contest Ibit joined. Ibit has been sent to join Macapat Contest for the last three years, in two different cathegories. during that time, she always took #1 place in Kecamatan level. means she was then sent to Kabupaten, but the best result was #3 place in this level.
ini teks salah satu lomba macapat yang diikuti Ibit. Ibit sudah tiga tahun belakangan ini ikut lomba macapat, dua kategori setiap tahunnya. selama itu, dia selalu berhasil jadi juara 1 di tingkat kecamatan. artinya setelah itu dia maju ke tingkat kabupaten, tapi hasil terbaik di tingkat ini baru juara 3

couple days ago, she was again sent to join the same contest. Ar and Ir were trained to follow Ibit but seemed they were still not ready for a competition.
after the contest, I asked her how did she do it.
she said, 'hh... just like usually. I took first place'
and she said that with plain face, like being #1 is not special. later, in the evening, Dan called from office. Ibit talked to him, I didn't. after hanging the phone Ibit asked me, 'why Bapak didn't ask me the results of the contest?'
'why, do you think?'
'I think he already knew what I got'
beberapa hari yang lalu Ibit ikut lomba lagi. Ar dan Ir juga dilatih untuk ikut lomba yang sama, tapi sepertinya belum siap.
seusai lomba, aku tanya bagaimana hasilnya.
dengan wajah datar dia menjawab, 'biasa... juara satu,' seolah juara satu itu biasa aja. sorenya, Dan menelpon dari kantor. Ibit yang bicara dengannya, aku ngga tahu ngobrolin apa. setelah menutup telponnya, Ibit bertanya padaku, 'kenapa Bapak ngga nanyain hasil lombaku?'
'menurutmu kenapa?'
'kayanya Bapak udah bisa nebak hasilnya'

may be. well may be not. I thought Dan was too busy with work and forgot to ask about that. but the fact that Ibit thought so, showed how a success she made has become a common thing - and not special. I don't know it is sad or what. I just think shes starting getting bored with the same contest.
mungkin. mungkin juga tidak. kupikir Dan terlalu sibuk dengan kerjaan dan lupa untuk bertanya soal itu. tapi kenyataan bahwa Ibit berpikir begitu, menunjukkan bahwa keberhasilan yang dia capai sudah menjadi sesuatu yang biasa, tidak istimewa. aku tidak tahu itu menyedihkan atau bagaimana. tapi kelihatannya dia sudah mulai bosan ikut lomba yang sama.

really, I wonder why. whenever there is any activity in school, as long it is about singing, it was always Ibit to be sent. any kind of singing contest, and singing performance. name it: pop singing, macapat, rebana, band. it has been going since her first year. she enjoyed them first, but I think she is tired now, or bored. beside, aren't there any other student to participate? I believe there are some students want to have the same chance. I'm afraid that the teachers only think about results, and abandon a possibility this could lead to jealousy.
aku juga heran. setiap kali ada kegiatan di sekolah yang berhubungan dengan menyanyi, selalu Ibit yang dikirim. sebut saja: menyanyi pop, macapat, rebana, band. sejak kelas satu lho. awalnya dia menikmati, tapi sepertinya sekarang mulai capek, atau bosan. lagi pula, apa tidak ada anak lain? aku yakin pasti ada murid lain yang ingin juga ikut berpartisipasi. takutnya guru guru hanya memikirkan hasil lomba, dan mengesampingkan kemungkinan bahwa hal ini bisa menimbulkan kecemburuan.

well, this year will be the last year for her to still be able to do those activities. I'll just let her do it if she likes, or quit if she wants to. I just don't want some thing fun turn into some thing sucks.
well, ini tahun terakhir buat Ibit untuk bisa mengikuti kegiatan kegiatan tersebut. aku biarkan saja kalau dia masih ingin ikut, atau berhenti kalau mau. aku cuma tidak mau kalau hal yang menyenangkan menjadi memuakkan.


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nowa loves ibit