You have always been the princess of my heart. Since the day you were born, now, and I know, forever will be.
I can write kilometers of paper about you. Too much to tell. Little Ibit was a tough one, like the prayer in her name, Tsabitah. You always insisted to do things your self since you were about 2 years old. You would ask me to put off the shoes I already put on your feet, and then wore them (again) by your self.
Aku bisa menuliskan ribuan kilometer kertas panjangnya tentangmu. Terlalu banyak untuk diceritakan. Ibit adalah pribadi teguh, seperti doa yang terkandung di dalam namamu,, Tsabitah. Kau selalu ingin mengerjakan segala hal sendiri sejak umur 2 tahun. Kau akan minta aku melepas sepatu yang baru saja kupakaikan di kakimu, untuk kemudian kaupakai (lagi) sendiri.
Every time I remember, 7 old months Ibit in the hospital bed, I can't help my self not to cry. You were so small and weak. And I was a young mother with tons of worries burdened.
Setiap kali aku mengingat, Ibit 7 bulan terbaring di rumah sakit, aku tidak bisa menahan tangis. Kau begitu kecil dan lemah. Dan aku waktu itu, ibu muda yang penuh kekhawatiran.
I will never forget a conversation we had when you were 5. You were telling about a friend who was so beautiful and clever. 'Her skin is white, not black like mine.'
I told you that it is more important to be a nice person than a beautiful one.
'Yeah, but people will like you more when you are nice and beautiful as well'.
I was so speechless. I didn't know what to say, until you said, 'How ever I am thankful that my face is normal. I have eyes to see, lips to speak with, and nose to breathe with. I don't have acnes that would make me look ugly...'
Aku tidak akan lupa suatu percakapan ketika kau berusia 5 tahun. kau bercerita tentang seorang teman yang cantik dan pintar. 'Kulitnya putih, tidak hitam sepertiku.'
Aku katakan padamu, lebih penting menjadi orang yang baik ketimbang orang cantik.
'Yeah, tapi orang akan lebih gampang suka kalau kamu baik hati dan juga cantik...'
Aku bingung harus ngomong apa. Lalu kau berkata lagi, 'Tapi aku tetap bersyukur punya wajah yang lengkap. Aku punya mata untuk melihat, bibir untuk bicara, hidung untuk bernapas. Wajahku tidak jerawatan, kalau jerawatan itu jadi jelek...'
I am one of those who agree not to push children to read before elementary school. But you asked to learn to read when you were 4, I taught you as best as I could and you learned easily. As time goes by, I can see how you love music as much as I do. With an old keyboard my sister gave me, and with my limited ability in playing music I taught her, you were so confident standing on kindergarten year end stage, play the keyboard while singing.
Aku termasuk yang setuju untuk tidak memaksa anak belajar membaca sebelum masuk SD. Tapi kau minta sendiri ketika umurmu 4 tahun. Aku mengajari sebisanya, dan kau belajar cepat. Seiring waktu, aku bisa melihat betapa kau suka musik seperti aku. Dengan kibod tua pemberian Budhemu, dan pelajaran dari kemampuan seadanya yang kumiliki, kau penuh percaya diri bermain kibod sambil bernyanyi di panggung akhirussanah TK.
Some times I feel, it was me who directed you to do things you do now. You like drawing. You love singing. You learned to play piano and guitar. Those all are 'me'. Well off course not the piano and guitar. My parents were to poor to buy musical instruments. That's why I feel, it was me who wanted you to play musics, a revenge to my unreached childhood dream. But if so, wouldn't I need to push you to? Seem I never felt so. You always look to do that gladly.
Kadang aku merasa, aku yang mengarahkanmu untuk melakukan hal-hal yang dia lakukan sekarang. Kau suka menggambar. Kau suka menyanyi. Kau belajar main piano dan gitar. Semua itu aku banget. Well, tentu saja selain piano. Orang tuaku dulu terlalu miskin untuk bisa beli alat musik. Itu sebab aku merasa, aku yang menginginkanmu bermain musik, sebagai pelampiasan mimpi masa kecilku. Tapi jika memang begitu, bukankah aku harus memaksamu? Nyatanya, kau tidak pernah merasa terpaksa. Semua kau lakukan dengan senang hati.
Some people think mommies want to make their children trophies for them selves by making their kids trophy gainer. Some may think I am one of those. But you know I'm not, I only offer you and you brothers competition or contest you want and enjoy to join. Remember later in your last year in elementary school, you got bored of competition and contest, and I let you quit. So I would just tell how gorgeous you are in my eyes. You are miracle handed to me. You always been special in your own way. Whatever you have achieved are all yours, and all I can do is support you as best as I can.
Sebagian orang berpikir, ada ibu yang menjadikan anak mereka piala buat diri mereka, dengan menjadikan anak mesin penambang piala. Barangkali ada yang menyangka aku adalah salah satunya. Tapi kau tahu, aku hanya menawarkan setiap kali ada lomba, barangkali kau atau adikmu ingin ikut lomba yang kalian sukai. Kau ingat di tahun terakhir SD, kau mulai bosan mengikuti lomba dan berhenti sama sekali. Kubiarkan. Jadi kukatakan saja bagaimana kau begitu istimewa di mataku. Kau keajaiban yang diletakkan di tanganku. Kau selalu menjadi istimewa dengan caramu sendiri. Apapun yang kau raih adalah milikmu,, aku hanya mendukung sebisanya.
Now as you are a teen, I can see you growing outside and inside. You always have your own reasons in making decisions, and I respect that. You make your own choices and I let you have that. We discuss things and I always try not to tell you to do things you don't feel comfortable with.
Sekarang Ibit sudah remaja. Aku melihat kau menjadi dewasa luar dalam. Kau selalu punya alasan untuk setiap keputusan, dan aku menghargainya. Kau membuat sendiri setiap pilihan. Kita berdiskusi tentang banyak hal, dan aku berusaha tidak memaksamu melakukan hal-hal yang tidak nyaman bagimu..
Thank you for understanding all minus things in me as a mother. Some times I think it is me who has to learn about life from you. Thank you for being my friend and hope you will always be.
