we are still here

So many things happened we barely write a note or stick a post it about them. 

The babies have grown up I some times need a help to understand.

Ibit has switched a few jobs and now is settled as a government officer. Ar and Ir are still struggling in college. Aik is in 8th grade.

We still manage to have good times together. Some times my heart broke for my children. But you know mothers are the best at swallowing pains.

Lord, please don't stop your bless and protection for us.

From Elementary to High

Dia ingin sekolah di SMP 24, seperti teman-temannya. Tapi aku tidak yakin dia bisa belajar maksimal di sekolah bukan inklusi.
Setelah survey sana sini, kami memutuskan untuk Aik belajar di sebuah PKBM yang inklusif dan betul-betul concern pada ABK. Mereka punya kelas reguler dan kelas khusus ABK. Kelas reguler bisa mendapat ijazah penyetaraan. Kelas khusus (ABK) hanya memberikan sertifikat kemandirian.

Menurutku Aik sudah cukup mandiri. Tapi tidak tahu apakah dia bisa ikut kepas reguler.

Pekan lalu Aik menjalani asessment. Hasilnya keluar kemarin: Aik dapat mengikuti kelas reguler.

Aku sendiri sering meragukan kemampuan Aik. Kenyataannya dia bukan tidak mampu, cuma perlu usaha khusus untuk belajar. Bismillah, semoga pilihan kami kali ini tepat untuk kebutuhannya.

Run Against Cancer 2023: we stand by the survivors.

It was our first official 5 km running, altogether. I and Dan and Ar joined the same event from 2020, right before the Covid pandemic. This year is its first come back. 

I couldn't be more proud of everyone. Especially Aik. And I am so thankful to Dan for being there beside him along the way. I know it was hard for everyone (super hard for Aik), I could cry hugging them all over the finish line.

This may be a simple support but hopefully means something to all cancer survivors. 

Thanks for the event organizer and everyone that made this happen.

Trah

Pertemuan Trah, biasanya diikuti minimal tiga generasi. Hari ini, pertemuan Trah Mbah kami dihadiri oleh 4 generasi. Bapak dan dua saudarinya sebagai generasi tertua, hingga buyut.

Bapak dulu tujuh bersaudara. Masing masing punya anak minimal empat dan paling banyak sepuluh. Anak-anak ini berkeluarga dan punya anak, bahkan cucu. Kalau dihitung semua jumlahnya lebih dari seratus, yang bisa hadir sekitar 75.

***

Kami lima bersaudara, ada 16 cucu, dan 2 buyut. Kalau bikin pertemuan trah, total 28 orang. Lumayan ya.

Danang dua bersaudara. Ibu mertua anak tunggal. Kalau bikin pertemuan Trah Simbah, yang datang ya bapak ibu mertua, 2 anak, 2 mantu, dan 6 cucu. Jadi 12. Lah, itu sama dengan Budhe dan 10 anaknya aja; belum mantu dan cucu cicit.

Sepuluh tahun ke depan, dengan trend usia menikah yang makin 'tua', jumlah anak yang makin sedikit (bahkan tidak menikah atau child free), pertemuan Trah bisa jadi sekedar 'pertemuan keluarga.' Tidak lagi ada pertanyaan, 'kamu cucu siapa, anak dari siapa?' Dah hapal semua.

***

Tidak semua orang menikmati acara seperti ini, karena berbagai alasan. Karena males berisiknya, males ketemu orang-orang 'yang ga kenal', sampai males dengar pertanyaan 'kapan (nikah, punya anak, nambah adik, dst)."

Tapi kami bersyukur tahun ini kami berkumpul bersama Trah dari Bapak maupun Ibu. Insya allah semua menikmati. Bapak dan budhe budhe bahagia. Semoga niat mempererat persaudaraan diridhoi Allah.

Twin Shoot di Undip

Dulu waktu tahu bahwa kehamilanku kembar, reaksi pertama malah stres, "Ya Allah, apa aku sanggup membesarkan anak kembar? Mau aku kasih makan apa?"

Yak benar, ternyata makannya ya seperti anak manusia biasa, haha.

Dan sekarang mereka sudah besar.

Dan dua-duanya diterima di Undip meskipun dengan jalur dan di jurusan yang berbeda. Kami tidak berharap banyak bisa diterima lewat jalur SNMPTN. Karenanya, mereka ambil bimbingan belajar untuk fokus masuk lewat jalur SBMPTN. Ar berhasil, Ir belum. Momen membuka pengumuman hasil SMBPTN itu mengacaukan batin. Di satu sisi kami gembira Ar lolos, tapi sedih Ir belum.

Aku menghargai Ar yang menunda sorak sorainya. Kami seisi rumah membiarkan Ir tenang dulu selama sehari dua hari. Lalu besoknya menyemangati lagi untuk ikut jalur mandiri. Daftar bimbingan belajar lagi. Melarang dia mengkhawatirkan biaya pendaftaran di sana sini. Itu bagian dari usaha, tidak akan menjadi mubadzir.

Mendaftar mandiri di tiga universitas, pengumuman berselang seminggu seminggu. Di Universitas Brawijaya belum lolos. UNS juga belum berhasil. Ir terlihat lelah dan khawatir. Aku berusaha menenangkan, barangkali memang jatahnya diterima di Undip.

"Aku pengin teriak histeris kaya Ar kemarin waktu lolos SMBPTN."

Dan terkabul.

Membiayai tiga anak yang kuliah bersamaan, dengan UKT serba tinggi karena ibuknya PNS, kalau dilihat sekilas pasti berat. Tapi kali ini aku nggak mau lagi meragukan diriku, apalagi kuasa Tuhan. Tidak ada yang ingin kupertanyakan. Aku memohon saja, "Ya Allah, paringi lancar segalanya."

Bismillah.

the frequency

do you remember one thing we learned at school, that there are ranges of sound that we can not hear but some animals can? dogs hear low frequency sounds while bats hear the high.

do you believe that some gifted people can hear sounds in such ways?

one day we went to the wood then Aik stood still for a few seconds, "Mami, listen."

"listen to what?"

"sound of smoke."

how was I able to hear the sound of smoke? smoke is to be seen not to be heard. but he was listening to something, not looking at something.

.

do you remember one thing we learned at school, that two wave of sounds with the same frequency will resonant an provide larger amplitudo (or eliminate each other)?

I like to think about 'two things with the same frequency will resonant' is not only for sound. there many other frequencies: magnet, light, any other may be I don't know the name. it's like when two people are having the same 'frequency', they would click and easier to chat, communicate, even collaborate.

.

do you think animals and human can have the same kind of frequency?

I never thought this was special but now I do. 

later these days during Ramadhan, Aik likes to take some walk in the morning. not far, only about 2-3 kilometers, changing routes but still around neighborhood. along the walk he likes to listen to (yes he seems to try to put his ears larger on) sounds of animals. dogs, cats, roosters. 

some people may think dogs are aggressive. they are afraid to pass by a house that has barking dogs. but Aik loves to, then bark at the dogs while laughing happily. 

he knows houses where dogs live in. few tens of meters before we get there Aik would 'bark' then the dogs bark back. then when we get there the dogs are already there.

in some other days Aik just keeps walking, then some puppies follow him. 

this morning some cats did. 

one day a cat followed him for quite distance. Aik told him to stop following and go home. "stop, kucing, jangan jalan. hush hush. pulang." and the cat stopped following him.

mostly in the walks, he would greet any animals he meets. sometimes just walk by, "hello dogs, get in. jangan di jalan.'' some other times he stops and take some times to rub.

I'm not sure he is able to speak to animals like Doctor Dolittle or Solomon. it's just that vibe that invites animals to loving him. and I love that.

Coronaversary!

Ramadhan is coming and we have to believe that Covid-19 is still around. Mosque are allowed to hold prayers with strict protocols but you know often people are who are being careless and ignorant. I  mean everywhere, in any possibly crowded places.

Public places (except schools) are open now anyway. With the protocol. We have started to go out with awareness. To malls, restos, tour destinations, with under control visitors. But we turn around and find other places when we see too much crowd.

We have visited our parents, met our siblings and went out together like we used to do in the past years in holidays. We have skipped a year though.

I know some people choose to keep staying at home until the pandemic is totally over. Shop everything online, limit doing anything outside. I appreciate every decision. Every tolerance. I see around people are much more aware nowadays. At least at some places that strict protocol is possible; there where we go. 

I think things will go as predicted, the virus will still be around until at least 2022. And until we can be sure things are safe, we will live in this pandemic habits.

It's been a whole year the kids learn at home. I partially work at home while Dan is still full at office.

Ibit just finished her hard internship in Surabaya (hard because it is in pandemic and the work is also hard). All her activities with college and The Faculty Choir has been done on the laptop and some times seems frustrating. Ar and Ir are in their last year of High School. The last few weeks has been so intense with study and course for test to enter University. I can sense their virtual graduation, but I hope that won't happen with Ibit's (insya allah) next year.

We shall past through this together.