what flows down

Without knowing where I got my senses from, I enjoy music like I breathe. There was nobody to teach me to play any music instrument. But my father knew there was music in me. So he borrowed a recorder from the school where he taught. I just read the instructions and made it to play some simple songs. I wanted to have a guitar but we didn't have enough money to buy one.

Mean while, as a painting teacher, Father taught me how to paint. He never told me much. He just told me to read 'how to paint' book series and give some comments when he thought needed. 

I lived with water color, paper, and brushes. Colors were my friends. The colors in my palette weren't red and yellow and green and blue. I was familiar with cobalt blue, light yellow, lemon yellow, burnt umber, burnt sienna. I mixed them to create more colors on the paper, and be a painting.

Later when I went to college, my older sister bought me a guitar with her first salary. It was definitely a dream come true. So I bought a cheap book of how to play guitar, and started to learn to play. That's how I learned, with some lessons I got from some friends.

I kept painting during college. Father gave me some brushes and paints to work with. 

When I finally got married and birthed, I got no time to do either painting or playing music. I sold my guitar, and gave my painting tools to a boy lived next door.

In the middle of 2009, I bought a guitar. It was supposed to be for my kids. I had a music teacher to come once a week to teach them. Turned out I couldn't help my self. I strummed again. 

A couple years ago I attended a friend's painting exhibition. The smell of the oil paint struck into my nose. Right then I called my father. I want to paint again.

***

This evening when I got home, Ar asked me, "Ibu, will you teach us to paint?"

I was so tired but I said yes. Yes dear off course I will. So they prepared everything and we started to work. It has been more than 12 years since the last time I held my brush. I opened the books again, read the tutorials again, and together learn to paint (again) with Ar and Ir.

While waiting for the basic colors to dry, I saw Ibit learning to play guitar. Thing she has been doing for last couple months. She refused to learn to play guitar before, and chose piano as her fingers were still to small to tick the strings in frets. But she can do it now, and the progress was quite well. I gave her my book and told her a little theory I learned.

I may be not a good musician, neither a painter. But I have learned both as the meal for my soul. I am so thin in theory, I practiced naturally. 

I am so happy that my kids have found the same need in them. And I, with my limited knowledge and skill, am so happy to share what I know with them.

I never hope they will be a great musician nor painter. Just knowing how they live with arts, has filled my heart. They will be real human, the complete ones. 

Lebaran di Gunung (Edisi I)

Aku anak gunung. Tapi aku suka pantai. Kami sekeluarga suka pantai. Setiap ada kesempatan kumpul keluarga, aku dan kakak adikku menyempatkan 'piknik'. Seringnya ke pantai. Yogya. Pacitan.
I'm a girl from up the hill. But I always love beaches. My whole family do. Whenever we have time together, we will manage a picnic. Mostly to beaches in Yogya or Pacitan.

Biasanya, kami berkumpul di rumah Bapak-Ibu, atau di rumah salah satu dari kami ketika musim liburan sekolah. Lebaran juga jadi salah satu momen kumpul bareng.
Usually, we gather at my parents' house, or at one of ours during the school holidays. Eid also be the other moment to gather.

Lebaran tahun ini kami sedang malas ke pantai. Seperti biasa jika semua saudara beserta anak-anak berkumpul, kami melakukan hal-hal 'tidak bermutu'. Main kartu. Main Play Station. Nyumet kembang api. Ngobrol ke sana kemari. Dan tentu yang tidak ketinggalan: jalan-jalan. Kondisi Bapak sedang tidak terlalu kuat. Jadi kami memilih tempat piknik tidak terlalu jauh. Sehabis sholat Ied kami pergi ke sebuah resto di dataran tinggi Karanganyar. Selain makan, ada berbagai arena bermain anak seperti flying fox, atv, permainan panjat memanjat. Betah lah mereka bermain, sementara yang dewasa ngobrol, memotret, makan...
This Eid we were not in the  mood to go to beaches. Like we always do when everyone is around, we just did simple things such as playing cards and games and set fireworks and talked here and there. And off course a walk. After shalat Eid we went to a restaurant in Karanganyar highland. They have more than just foods. Many games were ready for the kids to play while the adults had seats and talks. Some were busy taking pictures of the children.

Begini kami tidur jika semua berkumpul. Berserakan di mana-mana...

Tidak jauh dari situ ada kebun teh. Lokasinya lumayan eksotis. Apalagi ketika sampai di sana langit sedang menjatuhkan gerimis. Ditambah hawa dingin pegunungan, warung kopi pinggir jalan dan mi instan membuat sore menjadi renyah untuk dikunyah.
A little lower from the restaurant area there was a tea plantation. Quite exotic. More over when we got there the sky was pouring soft raindrops. Together with the cool wind, a small coffee shop and hot instant noodle, they make the afternoon crunchy to enjoy...

Kami sebrayat :)

Sebelum pulang kami mampir ke air terjun Parang Ijo. Tidak sebesar Grojogan Sewu, tapi cantik. Airnya lebih dingin dari udaranya. Tapi anak-anak nekat juga mandi di kolamnya. Brr.
Before we went home, we stopped by at Parang Ijo waterfall. Not as big as Grojogan Sewu, but beatiful. The water was even colder than the weather, but still the kids jumped in. Brr.

Hari kedua, pagi sebelum berkunjung ke sanak saudara, aku dan kakakku mengajak anak-anak mendaki bukit di dekat rumah. Dulu semasa kecil, aku sering diajak Bapak ke sana. Tidak terlalu tinggi. Kurang dari setengah jam jalan kaki untuk sampai ke puncak. Lalu kami akan bisa memandang ke utara, ke arah kampung kami. Ke barat, menebar pandangan sampai ke perbatasan kota. Ke tenggara, tampak waduk Gajah Mungkur.
The day after, morning before we visited familis, we took the  kids in a hiking up the hill near home. When I was a kid, my father often brought me there. It is not too high. It only needs less than 30 minutes walking to get up to the peak. Then we can look to the north and see our village. To the west and spread the view to the border of the town. To the south east and see Gajah Mungkur Dam.

Belasan tahun tidak naik, ternyata jalan mendaki ke sana sekarang lebih nyaman. Mobil dan motor bisa naik sampai separuh jalan. Setelahnya ada tangga buatan dari beton. Hanya pendakian ke batu terakhir yang agak sulit. Benar-benar harus memanjat batu.
It has been years since my last hiking there, the path has become easier to pass through. Cars and motor bike can run half way up. After that you just have to walk up stairs, and a little climb on the last rock to the peak.

Sedikit sebelum puncak bukit...

Liburan bersama saudara-saudaraku selalu melelahkan. Tapi menyenangkan. Dan kami selalu ketagihan untuk liburan bersama selanjutnya.
Vacation with my siblings and the kids are always tiring. But FUN. And we're always addicted to do the next one.

ramadhan this year

this year Ar and Ir do full fasting from dawn to dusk. this is day 17 and they haven't left even one. neither does Ibit. I'm glad that they don't complain about being thirsty or hungry or hot weather. well they did on first day. but even adults some times do on first days.

last week we had a plan to kill time and make the sun set sooner. we made cookies for lebaran. and after that prepared some fruits to break our fast. it did well and fun. 

I said the cookies are for lebaran. but kids say lebaran is still two weeks away and the cookies might not be fresh by the time. well okay... so we decided to just enjoy them as soon as they were ready...

the twin cards

I have just finished 15 sets of twin cards (that means 30) of animals for Dek Aik. to put twin cards in sets has been his favorite session in the speech therapy. it helps him to improve his ability to identify things.

I still have a set of fruits pictures to do. and hope I will find more sets of vehicles, professions and things around us. they're difficult to find. I might just find some pictures from internet and print them.

Pemahaman

Idul Fitri is coming soon. Means we have to meet families and more people in silaturahim. Means I have gotta be ready for questions that might come about Dek Ai's speech delay.

***

So far, we assumed Dek Ai' is in the level of pointing things to communicate. He goes to the kitchen and points his bottle when he wants milk. Things like that. Like, he has to see things we're talking about to understand.

Last night we were going to bed. I was bothering him with some words.

"let's take a bath..."

"naaaa..."

"let's sleep..."

"yaaa..."

"let's go out and ride car"

He didn't say a word. He just woke up and held my hand to follow him.

"where's the key? get the car key..."

He ran to the table and seek the key, and got it.

"call Bapak, Bapak will drive us"

And he got back to the room and called. "mppaaak...! mpaaak...!"

And I was sure that he understands words better than people think he does.

***

My next goal is for him to say 'susu' (milk) if he wants some. So he doesn't need to drag me to the kitchen and point the bottle.

"wuh wuh!"

"susu?"

"yaaa...."

(Bukan) Cah Pekok

Bagaimana orang tua memperlakukan anak, mungkin memang dipengaruhi banyak hal. Sifat dasar, tingkat pendidikan dan kondisi psikologis orang tua, lingkungan.

Ada orang yang memang di dalam dirinya sudah tumbuh  kecintaan pada anak. Anak siapa saja. Terlebih pada anaknya. Anak adalah makhluk-makhluk manis yang hanya berhak  mendapatkan curahan kasih sayang. Ada orang yang tidak suka anak. Anak siapa saja. Termasuk anaknya sendiri. Anak adalah kerepotan dalam hidup.

Ada orang yang mengerti dan terus berusaha mencari tahu segala hal baik yang harus diberikan kepada anak. Ada yang hanya mendengar tutur turun temurun tanpa ingin mencari konfirmasi baik buruknya.

Di suatu lingkungan masyarakat yang kukenal, di  mana rata-rata pendidikan penduduknya tidak terlalu tinggi, hal-hal tentang mengasuh anak sering menjadi keprihatinan tersendiri buatku. Para usia muda dengan pendidikan minimal SMA, ternyata masih banyak juga yang sekedar anut apa kata tetua.

Banyak hal sedih kutemui menyangkut perlakuan orang tua -termasuk lingkungan- yang tidak semestinya terhadap anak. Seorang anak yang bibirnya sumbing dikucilkan. Orang tuanya jadi bahan gunjingan. Seorang anak yang mengidap ayan dijauhi. Takut tertular kejang dan berbusa. Bahkan dia dianggap 'gila'.

Seorang anak dengan keterbelakangan mental, bicara tidak jelas, apalagi tidak bisa bicara, akan dipanggil 'cah pekok'. Dia sangat rentan jadi bahan olok-olokan anak-anak sebayanya. Dan bahan gunjingan asik bagi para orang dewasa.

Aku mengerti sekali kekhawatiran keenam orang tuaku. Enam. Bapak Ibuku. Bapak Ibu mertuaku. Dan embah mertuaku. Dek Ai' sampai lewat usia tiga tahun belum juga bisa bicara banyak. Dari mulutnya baru muncul satu dua kata. Aku mengerti sekali rasa malu yang Bapak Ibu mertua dan Embah mertuaku mungkin rasakan, dengan lingkungan pemahaman yang menyedihkan itu. Come on. Jangankan di desa terpelosok begitu, bahkan di lingkungan rumah tempat tinggal kami yang notabene kota dan maju, pembicaraan miring tentang Dek Ai' masih kudengar sayup-sayup...

Gimana rasanya kalau ada yang 'kewetu' di depan mereka, atau di depanku, bahwa Dek Ai' itu 'cah pekok'?

***

Aku tidak malu dengan keadaan Ai'. Jika ada yang bertanya kenapa dia masih ber 'ah-uh' saja dan belum bisa bicara, ya memang dia belum bisa bicara. Tapi kelak dia akan bisa.

Dan sudah sebisa mungkin menjelaskan ke orang tua dan embah, bahwa Dek Ai' sudah ditangani psikolog dan terapis yang menguasai permasalahannya. Mempunyai kapasitas untuk menganalisis kondisi Dek Ai', menyusun program dan kurikulum yang runtut untuk dilatihkan. Dek Ai' bukan anak autis. Bukan anak down syndrome. Bukan cah pekok.

Dia terlambat dan akan mengejar. Bukan tidak bisa bicara. 

the accident

Yesterday afternoon Cempluk, our little kitten, get home wounded. Her leg was broken and bleeding so badly. We tried to give her a help but she was like screaming every time we tried to touch her.We called the vet but he was out of town and might be home late.

At about nine the vet texted me, he just got home but so tired and sleepy. He couldn't see Cempluk then and promised to come in the morning. I tried to just accept that. But at about eleven before we should be going to bed, Ibit took a look at Cempluk and found the kitten didn't move at all. Ibit thought she was died. I saw her and find her still breathing. I immediately brought her to the vet's home and ask for some help.

He was shocked to see Cempluk's condition. He didn't think it was that bad. Oh it was, so bad. He said Cempluk must have been hit by a car. We couldn't figure out who's car that could be. Coz' ours didn't get out the carport the whole day.

The vet started to suture the wound, while observing Cempluk. He said Cempluk was already in a comma for losing too much blood and bearing too much pain, she didn't respond the light that was directed to her eyes. 

So after it was done, we brought Cempluk home. And right when we got home and I brought the basket out of the car, we found that Cempluk was no longer breathing.

We did what we could. Wasn't the best I know. We should've tried to find other vet to help her as soon as possible. I do hope this would never happen again.

Good bye, Cempluk.